Speed Racer: The Liars Edition
by Aerilyn Dawnstrider
Summary: Speed Racer finally learns the truth about Racer X, thanks to his girlfriend. When Racer X and Trixie blur the lines of their relationship, will Speed and Trixie work through the difficulty, or will they lose each other forever?
1. Chapter 1: A Reason for Victory

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter Un: A Reason for Victory**

_**Some things in the story have been modified from the movie for a better story line. Thank you.**_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. No matter how much I wish I did._

Trixie whooped and jumped into Speed's arms as he stood in front of the Mach 6 with his arms out wide to catch her. Her slippered feet padded across the tiles of Victory Lane as she raced toward him. She got first place too, beating Spritle, Pops, Mom, Sparky and Chim-Chim. He craned his neck toward her and she bent her head down. Their lips met just as the finale of fireworks for his win went off and the crowd went wild as their intimate moment filled the big screen of the stadium. Speed pulled away and they both looked toward the camera, their smiles looking down over the fans.

Spritle and Chim-Chim got there next, hugging Speed after he set Trixie down. As they stepped back, their overalls brushed against each other and the little boy and the monkey looked at each other. Speed's tight, white, leather racing suit stretched and crinkled as he hugged Mom Racer and then Pops. "I'm proud of you, Son," Pops said, patting Speed heavily on the back, "…still proud."

Trixie couldn't stop smiling as she watched Speed spin around and air hug the crowd, who went wild all over again. She followed a drop of sweat all the way from his hairline to his jaw line, the salt in it glistening, before it fell to the tiles below Speed's feet. As it splashed onto the red and white, the sounds and lights dimmed for Trixie, suddenly sounding distant and unreal, like someone had turned the volume down on the T.V. as she left the room. She blinked slowly, hearing her own breath all of the sudden. Something was wrong.

She looked up, at first only seeing Inspector Detector. Creasing her forehead by bringing her eyebrows nearly together she saw someone standing beside him. She gasped, it was Racer X, but as she looked again, he seemed more familiar than the driver who had showed up at Speed's house last year to ask him for his help in the Casa Cristo. She brought her tongue over her bottom lip, as it felt very dry at the moment, and then brought it between her teeth, like she often did when she was worried. Racer X's hands were on the glass in front of him, as they always stood up at the top of the stadium, in that room Trixie had been in only once, and even from here Trixie thought he looked pained. He seemed as though he wanted to reach out and embrace Speed, but why would he feel so strongly toward Speed, especially as another driver who would want to win races. He must have felt her watching because, eyes wide, he turned to look at her.

Just then, as he opened his mouth in a gasp that was silent to her, if not everyone, she felt someone tugging on her arm. She'd know it was Speed's hand around her wrist anywhere, and she reluctantly brought her head down, her eyes following suit, last, and it hurt her heart to pull her gaze away from who she was sure was more important than he'd ever let on. "Trix, Trix, what's wrong?"

"Nothin'," her voice was distant, slow and distracted. She couldn't focus on his face and that upset not only her, but Speed as well. She shook her head a little, wondering why Racer X's reaction to Speed affected her so much. Maybe he respected Speed, maybe he looked down on him as a little brother. Trixie gasped, a hand flying to her mouth, her skinny fingers covering his red lip-sticked mouth.

Speed suddenly looked very concerned, "Trix, what is it?" But this time he got nothing out of her except a head shake. "Trix…"

"SPEED RACER!" a big hand came down between Speed's shoulder blades in a supposed-to-be-affectionate way. He winced, but didn't let go of Trixie's wrist, nor did he turn around. He gave her a pleading look with his eyes and she nearly forgot about Racer X as those beautiful pools of blue bore into her. She felt her face relax and he gave her the smallest of smiles. "Racer, young man, you're an amazing driver. I want you-" But Speed wasn't listening, he was still staring at Trixie, though it didn't make her uncomfortable as it would've with anyone else. She stared back for a moment before Pops interrupted them, a hand on Speed's shoulder, spinning him around.

"Decline politely, son," he said. Speed opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"No thanks, Bozo," Spritle growled, pointed a fat finger up at the sponsor. "No. Thanks."

Mom motioned for Speed to go into the locker rooms, so they could head home. With his hand on the doorknob, the door itself ajar already, Speed looked back at Trixie, just before disappearing inside, and their eyes met between the twenty feet now between them and he didn't smile, instead, his mouth was set in a thin line and he raised both eyebrows at her and Trixie knew that if he'd been standing right next to her, he would have whispered the words _We'll talk about this later_ right in her ear.


	2. Chapter 2: Pancakes are Love

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter Deux: Pancakes are Love**

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. As much as I'd like to. (:_

Trixie paced in front of the mirror of her bedroom, the denim of her short skirt rustling against her thigh. Again, her bottom lip was between her teeth. Her big, brown eyes scanned the room as they made their way to her digi-clock. 9:54 Speed would be up in about ten minutes, if not later. She couldn't put this off, and maybe if she got there before he woke up, he wouldn't be able to pull her aside right away. She needed to compose herself, figure out what she was going to say, and how she wanted to.

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her keys off the nightstand and left her bedroom. She locked the door behind her and got into her car, made especially for her, as a birthday present three years ago, by the Racer family. How they'd kept it a secret from her, she still hadn't figured out. Zooming out of the driveway, Trixie floored it down the empty street, might as well get there soon and get this over with.

_How in the hell am I going to tell Speed that Racer X lied to him. He was so crushed by the loss of his brother the second time. He was so sure…Rex is alive. I know he is. I just have to prove it._ Trixie thought about lying, but she had never lied to Speed and it would be unfair, not to mention difficult, to start now. She cut the engine as she got to the Racer household; its colorful outer walls somehow seemed less inviting than usual. Putting her keys in her purse, the yellow one that matched her halter top, she climbed the steps to the side door, her black heels clicking on the smooth concrete.

"Trixie, good morning," Mom said, as she knocked twice and stepped into the kitchen. Trixie repeated the greeting and looked around the table, Spritle and Chim-Chim sharing a plate of pancakes, Pops with at least seven pancakes on his own plate, Sparky reading the morning paper, a bite or two taken from his breakfast, Mom still over at the sink, cleaning the pans, and Speed's door still closed as he continued to doze. Trixie felt herself relax as the mission was accomplished; Speed Racer hadn't won this time. She couldn't believe she felt so different, and yet everything looked exactly the same as it had every other morning.

She didn't have long, so she couldn't bask in her glory. Go figure, only Speed got the chance to do that. My goodness, was she bitter today? She told herself to cool it as Speed's bedroom door opened and he stepped out, drowsy and adorable. His hair was flat on one side, but Trixie's favorite little curl in the front looked untouched. She smiled to herself, even though she feared the day with Speed. He looked up and saw her, barely registering the chorus of good morning he was receiving, and he smiled at Trixie. "Hey Trix," he said, in the soft, I'm-still-half-asleep voice. The sound of his voice sent a shiver up her spine, the good kind and she grabbed hold of the kitchen counter, since it was the closest thing, inconspicuously, for support.

"Hey Speed," somehow she sounded slightly out of breath and that amused her boyfriend. Sparky put down the paper, sighing. He glanced down at his pancakes, then slid them across the table, toward Spritle, who was reaching for the plate in the center. He forgot about the pancakes meant for Speed and Trixie and went after Sparky's, sharing with Chim-Chim of course. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good, only one thing that coulda made it better," he winked at her, smirking as he came around the table and kissed her lightly before taking her hand and sitting them both at the table. Trixie could feel the soft burn on her cheeks, even after all this time. Speed had dropping sweet nothings on her since the seventh grade, and he always got her all heated up. Now-a-days, in more ways than one.

He kept his hand in hers, his thumb lightly running over the back of her hand while he ate his pancakes with his lucky fork. Trixie just watched him, he even ate elegantly. She could feel the shadow of a smile on her lips, one she couldn't get rid of, as she cocked her head just a little as he ate one handed. After a couple minutes of silence, except for the clinking of forks on plate and the rustle of newspaper and clothes, Speed looked up at Trix, the fork, full of syrupy pancake chunks, hovering in front of his open maw, and he gave her a questioning look. Then he sat up a little and offered her the forkful of sticky, yet what Trixie knew was delicious, mess of pancakes. Trixie hadn't eaten breakfast, it was true, and the pancakes were so close to her face she was inhaling their scent and it made her stomach rumble. She shrugged and opened her mouth, why not? Speed laughed a little, more to himself than aloud, and put the fork right over her tongue. Trixie closed her mouth around it, imagining the taste of the pancakes a second before the taste was real. Cinnamon. Yum. She closed her eyes to the taste, the beautiful texture, and she felt the silverware slip back between her lips as Speed took back his lucky fork.

She opened her eyes to find him watching her now, the blue of his eyes dancing with laughter. She could almost hear him chuckling, though his shoulders weren't moving up and down, so she knew he wasn't really. His mouth, however, was grinning, his side-grin, at her, three and a half of his teeth visible between the pink of this lips. She licked her own; ridding herself of the syrup the fork had left, as a trail, behind. Speed's grin widened and Trixie saw **his** tongue right on the edge of his bottom lip. At the same time, they both seemed to remember where they were and brought their gazes down and then up from the side to stare at the middle of the table.

Sparky got up from his chair, the scraping sound of the chair legs on the linoleum seemed extra loud all of the sudden. She must have jumped, because Speed tightened his grip on Trixie's hand as he finished off his pancakes. The taste of Mom's pancakes had filled up Trixie's mouth and if it'd been cotton she'd be dead already. Unable to stand it anymore, Trixie exhaled and said, "So, Speed, what's on the agenda?"

He glanced sidelong at her, raising an eyebrow. If they were alone, he'd say _you_. Trixie had learned long ago how to hear what Speed was saying by the looks on his face. Even his parents weren't that good, but it was almost like she was reading the words on his pupil, and she could imagine his voice, him speaking the words.

"Trix?"

_Here it comes_ she held back a sigh as she leaned back in the red leather seat of the Mach 5. "Yeah?"

"What happened?"

"Whatdoyamean?"

"Don't play games with me, Trix. Something really bothered you. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Speed-"

"I mean, is it something I did? Something I said?"

Trixie was quick to shake her head, "oh, Speed." She reached out, her hand cupping the side of his face as she turned to him, "no, never."

" What, then?"

"It was something I saw…" Speed didn't interrupt this time, so Trixie continued, "…Racer X…he was watching you, from the-"

"Yeah, I was wondering why he didn't drive in the last race. Do you know what happened?" Trixie shook her head, saying nothing more. Speed seemed to realize his mistake in interrupting her and jumped to apologize. "Keep going, Trix. Sorry."

"Well, he looked like he wanted to," this sounded so silly all of the sudden, "like he wanted to hug you, Speed." His face changed, it wasn't amusement, or hurt, even. Trixie couldn't place it, but it nearly broke her heart. Before he could say anything, Trixie added, "like you meant something to him. A lot of something."

"What are trying to say? I mean, Racer X is a tough guy. He doesn't go around hugging people. Are you sure?"

"Speed," her voice had gone to the I'm-telling-you-and-you-better-listen tone, "he was completely relaxed up there. Like he forgot where he was and he," she grabbed his forearm with a tight grip, urging him to understand, "he was so caring. I could see it, his face was full of affection toward you, Speed. He loves you. You're like his **little brother**."

There was a long moment of pained silence. Not awkward, just pained. "…Trix…"

"Speed…"

"No, Trix. You're crazy. What, are you working for Royalton now? Are you trying to reach your hand into my chest and crush everything in the world that matters to me?"

"NO. Oh, Speed. This is why I didn't want to tell you."

Speed turned the car on, backing it up and down the hill, back to the road. He sped off, heading home, without saying another to Trixie the entire way there. He stopped in front of her house, not saying goodbye, no 'I'll see you in the morning,' not even a 'come on over soon.' But what hurt more than all of that is that, even as Trixie got out of the car and closed the door, Speed didn't roll down the window before streaking out of the driveway back to his place, nor did he say, before she shut the door, 'I love you.'

A single tear rolled down Trixie's cheek as she heard, but could no longer see, the Mach 5 down the street, engine revving at the stop sign between her house and his. They'd never gotten in a fight before, not ever. "I love you anyway," she said, kissing her fingertips and blowing the kiss in the direction he'd disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3: Off Course

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 3: Of[f] Course**

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. Even though I wish I did._

Speed blinked as he stepped into the kitchen, squinting against the sunlight that was glistening off the handle of Mom's pan. "Hey Trix," he mumbled, barely moving his mouth, after everyone said good morning. An eerie silence fell over the kitchen, not like yesterday, and there was no 'hey Speed' either. He squinted around, trying to rub his eyes free of sleep. Mom dropped the pan in the sink, her mouth an O of surprise.

"Trixie isn't here, Speed, dear." Mom cleaned off her sudsy hand on her apron and walked over to Speed, putting her arm around his shoulders. "You guys got in an little disagreement yesterday, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but…" his eyes widened. He audibly gasped and slipped on his flip flop shoes. He snatched the Mach's keys from the hook and kissed his mother on the cheek.

"Aren't you going to eat breakfast first?"

"I have to go tell Trixie I love her!" he shouted right before he jumped into the Mach without even opening the door. He waved at them as he peeled out of the driveway, panting, even as he just sat there driving. Why had he treated her so terribly?

He put the Mach in park in her driveway and jumped out of the car, shoving his finger into the doorbell button before he got all the way up the stoop. Her aunt answered the door. "Oh, it's you."

"Hi, Annie," Annie had always liked Speed, saying her niece deserved nothing less. She'd always been very kind to Speed on the rare occasions in which he came over and she was there. "Is Trixie here?"

"Yes. She's been acting very strange since you dropped her off last night. Are you here to apologize, by any chance?"

"In a way."

Annie stepped aside, shrugging. "Trixie," she called up the stairs. "Speed's here." That sounded so odd.

At the foot of the stairs, Trixie smoothed out her dress, a nearly-skin tight purple number that reached to just above her mid-thigh. She looked up as she dropped her hands to her side, "hey Speed." It wasn't the way she usually said it, but she didn't sound angry either. It was a simple greeting, like if she'd seen a friend at the supermarket and didn't want to stop and chat, but was polite enough to say hello.

Speed rubbed the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed. "Hey, Trix…" She said nothing, crossing her arms lightly, and waiting for something else. She looked him over, this was a good sign. He was still in his pajamas, which means he was either distracted or in a hurry this morning, Trixie was shooting for both. She blinked a couple times, then Speed looked up at her from the last step of the stoop and his eyes were pleading and apologetic and it took everything she had not to hug him. "Trixie, I-" but then he stopped and looked at her for a moment. "Oh, Trix," he said, taking the last step and scooping her into an embrace, hugging her to him as if they hadn't seen each other in forever and she'd finally returned to him. "You're eyes are all red."

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice that," she mumbled into his chest, grabbing hold of a handful of fabric from his sleep shirt. She felt him shake a little as he laughed lightly, "I even put on extra make-up."

"Other people won't notice, Trix. They don't look at you hard enough. That's fine by me," he smiled. Though Trixie couldn't see it, she knew he was. She smiled too, the corner of her mouth brushing Speed's chest, telling him she was smiling too. "I'm so sorry, Trix. I was upset. I just didn't want to hear what you were saying to me." He swallowed, and Trixie could hear his heart hammering. His hand was on the back of her head, holding her where she was. "I realized this morning what a jerk I was last night." He pulled her away from him a little, taking her face in his hands, "you forgive me, right?"

"How could I not, Speed?" she breathed.

He exhaled, obviously worried she wouldn't. "Right, I knew you'd understand."

Rolling over, Speed exhaled heavily, turning his head to look at Trixie. "Maybe we should have be upset with each other more often." He grinned at her and she could just imagine him winking at her, though he didn't. Running her tongue over her slightly dry lips she looked at the ceiling, her chest rising and falling quickly, her breath ragged, her heart pounding. Speed Racer was an amazing driver, and only Trixie knew how good, and with what cars.

Trixie shook her head, "fights aren't good."

"Maybe not, but the making-up part is really great."

"It would've been really great, anyway-"

He walked his fingers up her stomach, all the way up to her nose. He sat up, propping himself up on one arm so he could see all of her. "I love you."

She smiled, "I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4: Trouble in Paradise

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 4: Trouble in Paradise**

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything; except the storyline, baby._

Everything seemed back to normal as Trixie awoke the next morning. She smacked her lips together a bit, tasting the disgusting morning breath she always had, and heading for the bathroom for a good teeth brushing when she realized she wasn't in her own bedroom. Blinking the crusty sleep from her eyes she looked around. There were shirts scattered across the floor, jeans thrown over the chair in the corner, and a white leather racing suit hanging up, very clean, in the closet. She smiled to herself, Speed Racer's room.

_And how many girls get to see the interior like __**this**_ Trixie asked herself as she climbed back into the bed with Speed, who still dozed soundly. He was just as cute when he slept, Trixie decided, slowly turning to face him in the dark of his bedroom. She reached out and tried to tuck that curl behind his ear, but, as she'd guessed it would, it just sprung back, landing in the same spot it always did. That didn't bother Trixie, not at all. Everything was exactly where it should be…

"Mornin' Speed," Spritle cooed as Speed entered the kitchen, dozy, like always, but somehow more lively this morning.

"Hey Spritle, hey Mom, hey Pops, hey Sparky." He set a hand on Sparky's shoulder for just a second as he passed him on his way to his seat at the table. Chim-Chim screeched and Speed chuckled, "hey there Chim-Chim."

"You know where Trixie is, Speed?" Pops asked, with a funny look in his eye. "She's usually here by now."

Speed choked on his sip of milk, but managed to get it down. He felt his cheeks flush pink and Mom laughed from the sink. "Oh, Pops, do you have to embarrass the boy?"

Speed's bedroom door opened again and Trixie strutted out, looking just as rejuvenated as Speed, but more awake, like always. Everything still as it should be. She was still wearing Speed's extra sleep shirt, the dirty white one that reached all the way down to her knees and was nearly two sizes to big up top. She'd found some jeans of her own that had been left here on another occasion that were in a pile of clothes strewn on the carpet. Speed smiled at her, that cute, closed lip smile that Trixie loved best; his I-know-more-than-they-do smile. This made her smile in return, her slightly embarrassed smile, where she showed her first six teeth on the top and the tops of her bottom row of teeth. Chewing the rest of the pancake Speed had in his mouth fast, he said, "hey Trix."

She tilted her head to her shoulder and brought that same shoulder up a little at the same time, a short of one sided shrug. "Hey Speed, thanks for letting me use your tooth brush." She winked at him as she came around the table to sit beside him, dropping a hand on Sparky's shoulder as she passed and said good morning, offering the same words to the rest of the family. Sparky had a loved look on his face, but he said nothing except "mornin'" and kept reading the paper.

Speed looked Trixie over, wondering how in the world she looked good in anything. Even that old t-shirt that needed a good bleach. She caught him looking and met his gaze as he glanced up to see her watching him watch her and she held him there without even moving. And again they were pulled into that magnetic field and the outside world didn't exist anymore. But before anything could go any further the door bell rang.

Trixie looked around, confused, and Speed did the same. Mom dried off her hands and went to answer the door, still using her apron over her palms. "I need to speak to Speed," Trixie stiffened. Racer X. She shot Speed a scared look, but he already looked deflated. Suddenly he seemed tired and so much older. It saddened Trixie and she put a hand on his shoulder, running her thumb over his collarbone. He gave her a helpless look and stood up.

She followed him into the living room, where Racer X was already sitting in the yellow chair that was reserved for visitors. Inspector Detector was there too, in the orange chair beside him. Trixie swallowed as she stood beside Speed, who didn't sit down. "Can I help you?" he tried to keep his voice even, not friendly, but not unfriendly.

Inspector Detector sighed, "We hate to ask you again-"

"The Casa Cristo," Trixie mused, shaking her head just a little. "Speed learned his lesson, thank you."

"Ah. Yes, well-"

"Trixie's right!" Spritle jumped on the couch, his hand into a fist as he attempted a serious superhero of sorts. Chim-Chim screamed his agreement.

"We didn't ask you," Racer X growled, and Trixie shot him the nastiest look she could manage and, somehow, shut him up. He looked startled by her ferocity, but she didn't call him out. Not here.

"I'll race with you."

"Speed-"

"No, Trix, really. I did it last time, right? And I got to race in the Grand Prix…"

"And you won, Speed. Ship's sailed. You _promised_, Speed."

"I promised I'd be more careful."

"Oh, and the Casa Cristo will help you do that."

"Trixie you're-"

"Speed Racer, you are not driving in that race," Mom's voice held a controlled malice.

Speed and Trixie both stood down, unclenching their fists and their jaws. But Trixie crossed her arms and turned away from Speed and he grumbled and threw his hands up. "I'll drive for you, but don't let anyone screw me over." Mom threw up her hands and left, mumbling something about growing boys. Trixie rolled her eyes and Racer X glanced at her a moment, his expression a cross between confusion and appreciation. Trixie pretended not to notice.

"Thank you for your time," Inspector Detector nodded at Pops, and then to Speed, "Speed," he nodded silently at Sparky, Trixie, Spritle, and the Chim-Chim, who covered his eyes. Racer X stood up and followed him out, but Trixie ran after them right as Racer X closed the door.

She wrenched it open again, "Rex," she said. Her voice was soft, only the two men outside would hear her. She frowned, feeling the pain in her chest swell up as Racer X turned around. He got right in her face. She had the door as closed as it would go, with her head sticking out, to block everything on the outside from the inside.

"You'll keep quiet," he whispered to her, his voice a notch under threatening. "They don't need you screwing everything up." Trixie stood there for a moment, open mouthed and gaping at him. He lightly shoved her jaw up, closing her lips for her and gave her a small smile. "Just take care of my family." He turned away then and got into the car. It zoomed away the second he closed the door.

Trixie felt a hand on her hip, "Trix?" She pulled her head back into the house and shut the door, exhaling sadly as she leaned against it.

"Oh, Speed."

"Shh, Trix," he pulled her toward him again, like he had on her stoop. "We'll get through this. We always do."

"I know, Speed, I know."


	5. Chapter 5: Casa Cristo

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 5: Casa Cristo**

**DISCLAIMER: **_I own nada._

"Trixie, are you alright, dear?" Mom asked as she sat down at the dinner table. It had been two days since Racer X's visit. Everyone had been preparing Speed for his off track race, the one that could have easily gotten him killed the year prior.

Trixie still didn't like the idea of Speed racing in the Casa Cristo again. Of course, though, she would spot for him. She always did. She nodded, turning her large brown orbs on Mom Racer and smiling her award-winning everything-is-super-duper smile, "I'm fine." She put a hand on Speed's back, between his shoulder blades and rubbed affectionately, "I'm fine."

Mom didn't look convinced, but she didn't argue. She returned the smile half-heartedly, then looked at Speed and shook her head as he sucked down his third serving of mashed potatoes. Trixie's plate was nearly empty, but she hadn't eaten anything, just put a little bit on her plate and swished it around. She hadn't eaten well for the last forty-eight hours. She took a deep breath in through her nose, then let her shoulders slump, resting her head on Speed's shoulder. He glanced at her and then set down his fork and sat back, taking Trixie's hand and scooching his chair back. "Can we be excused?"

Mom sighed, but nodded, "sure, Speed." As her son opened the side door for Trixie, Mom added, "feel better, Trixie, hunny."

Trixie turned around in the doorway, her eyes side, her mouth set in a sort of natural frown. "Thanks, Mrs. Racer. But I won't feel any better until I know Speed is safe and done with the Casa Cristo."

Pops looked like he was about to say something, but Mom reached over and put a gentle on his massive forearm and shook her head, looking at him and mouthing a soft, but final, 'no.'

"Trix, baby, I'm going to be fine."

"I don't doubt you can take care of yourself, Speed," Trixie sighed, looking up at the stars from her usual spot in the Mach 5's passenger's seat on the cliff overlooking the city. "But you don't have to do this."

"Sure I do. I have to have time to tell Rex to come back."

"Speed!" Trixie jumped forward, turning to look at him head on, her big eyes opened wide. "Is that was this is about?"

"What?" Speed looked worried for a moment, sucking in his bottom lip, a habit he'd picked up from his favorite girl, and shook his head. "Pft. No…" Trixie gave him a look, her yeah-right-I-see-right-through-as-always-babe look. Speed threw up a hand, exasperated, "What Trix? Why would he do this?"

"He wants to protect you."

"I didn't really help keep the family safe, did I?"

Trixie's turn to bite her lip. "Speed…Rex told me not to tell you guys. He said to take care of the Racers they way he can't. He's not going to come back, Speed. Rex is dead…he's become Racer X. He's not your brother anymore. Time and crime have hardened him. I'm sorry, Speed, but I can't let you hurt yourself that way. You're not racing in the Casa Cristo-"

"Trix, when did you gain the power to tell me what to do?"

"When you lost your sanity. When you lost sight of the reason you race. Speed Racer, you climb into a T-180 because you're driven, not so you can be a driver and get answers." She slumped back in her seat, "I can tell you that you can't race, because you no longer seem to know what's good for you."

"Do I like salt on my eggs, Trix?"

"What?"

"Do I like _salt_ on my eggs?"

Trixie raised an eyebrow, watching him gaze out at the city with that look of self-pity. The one he used when he didn't know what he wanted, or if he was confused about something important and he wanted to understand. It was his stubborn lost puppy look, and it made Trixie wish she hadn't noticed Racer X that day at the race. "I guess so, Speed, you always put salt on them." He nodded, silent. "Why?"

"When Rex died-" he shook his head then, "well…yeah-Pops said he didn't even know if he liked salt on his eggs, let alone keep building cars. I was just wondering if I could still drive them, if I can't even remember if I like salt on my eggs."

"All drivers to your cars, please, all drivers to your cars." The announcement flooded the stands, making everyone cheer, one side of the stadium seating doing the wave. As the arms in the air went around, Speed stood up from the bench in the locker room, put on his racing jacket, grabbed his gloves from his locker, yanked out his helmet, and slammed the locker. "This is for you, Rex," he murmured as he slipped the gloves on over his hands and headed out to the track.

"AND TOGOKAHN PULLS INTO VICTORY LANE FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW!" The crowd, who had been going wild, went ballistic. Trixie couldn't hear herself think the place was so loud, she could feel heat creeping over her skin, like warm goose bumps, as Speed revved his engine over the crowd. Her smile was huge as she turned to see Spritle and Chim-Chim nearly breaking the seats they were standing on as they jumped up and down, screaming their heads off.

Speed got out of his car, following 'Racer X' and Taejo, who was much kinder to Speed after his victory at the Grand Prix, to get their trophy. He waved to people in the stands and even though he was hardly more than a little miniature down there on the lane, Trixie could see him smiling, his dimples flashing at all the pretty girls. But she didn't mind, jealousy wasn't a huge thing with Trixie, she trusted Speed, and she could almost bet that stupid little blonde girl, who was so snobbish and 'superior' in their school years, the same girl Trixie had punched while they were still in Elementary, was down their now, just trying to catch the smallest bit of his jacket, for a second, between her fingers. That thought brought a nasty, very un-Trixie like smirk to her features, transforming her for a moment.

After the reporters had cleared enough away from the stand, Inspector Detector brought the family up to see Speed, Taejo's family already there, his sister having greeted Speed with a friendly smile and a hello. Racer X slipped off as Mom and Pops got up on the stand, but Trixie had already done her, now routine, leap into her winner's arms and they locked-lips for just a moment for the world to see. "Congratulations, Mr. Super-Famous-Race-Car-Driver," she grinned down at him. "Want to gain another victory?"

"Winning's always important." He threw back his head and laughed, the cameras zooming in on his face as Trixie laughed along with him, their bodies mashed together in an all natural stance of love. Watching her smile big and real, Speed put a hand on her cheek, "Trix?"

"Yeah, Speed?"

"I like salt on my eggs."

_**A/N: **_I'm sorry about skipping the race scenes. It's just not the same to read and write about them as it is to see it. If you **really** want me to, though, let me know and I'll do my best. Even if I hack my way through it until I get it right…enough. ?


	6. Chapter 6: The Great Escape

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 6: The Great Escape**

**Disclaimer: **_I own NOTHING. Not even his face…_

"Trixie?" Annie's voice filled Speed's head as he sat up, the bed creaking under him, rubbing his eyes as he blinked rapidly for a moment. He felt Trixie sit up beside him and looked over at her sleepily; her hair was a mess, her make-up from last night smeared down the sides of her face from the corners of her eyes to her ear lobes. Her eyes were droopy as she tried to wake herself up. "Trixie, are you up?"

"Uhhn," was Trixie's reply as she dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom. Speed watched her go, chuckling under his breath. Trixie was usually up before him, but she was funny, and scary, in the morning before she got dressed. Even in her tired state, though, her hips swayed with that feminine allure that caught Speed mid-breath every time and made him watch her leave. His mouth turned up on one side in a smirk, but it was short lived as the door closed behind her and she used her privacy to get ready for the day.

A second later there was a knock on the door; a two first fingers, second knuckles to the wood kind of knock. Speed rolled off the bed in his surprise as the door flew open, with Annie in the doorway, two seconds after she'd knocked, without waiting for a reply. "Trixie, you goof. Get off the floor." Speed rolled his eyes right before the comforter fell on top of him. He heard the hair dryer come on and the shuffle of feet, then the heavy blanket was ripped off him and Aunt Annie screamed. The next sound was a loud thump from behind the closed door, the sound of the hair dryer cutting off as it came unplugged from the wall on its way to the floor. The door to Trixie's bathroom opened and she looked out, wide-eyed, to find her aunt with a large pillow over her head, about ready to beat the feathers out of it with Speed's head.

"Annie!" she groaned, "seriously? Cool your jets."

When Annie saw Trixie she dropped her arms, the pillow nearly falling out her hand, but she held onto by the corner of the pillow case, "my jets are cool." She blushed tremendously and Trixie just shook her head and turned around to go back to her morning task of getting ready. It was Annie's dismissal, but she also said, to Speed, "get up off the floor, hunny, you're tempting me."

"She did what?" Pops laughed. His amusement roared as it echoed around the kitchen. Everyone was laughing; the bright and colorful Racer family was sitting down, having French toast for breakfast today. Trixie felt great, she'd told Mom Racer the truth without even realizing it. Rex hadn't crossed her mind all morning and Speed seemed just as energetic as her.

"What do you say, Trix, baby," he made a kissy face at her, his left arm around the back of her chair as he leaned back in his own to look at her, "that we go to the track today?"

"Can I drive?"

"Of course," he winked at her, showing those three and half side teeth and she swooned.

"You guys disgust me," Spritle made a gagging sound and pretending to stick a finger down his throat and throw up all over his syrup-filled plate. Chim-Chim nodded, agreeing with an 'eek' sound and covering his eyes with his hands.

Mom smiled to herself at the sink, scrubbing a pan with her sponge as she remembered when her and Pops had been the way her son and Trixie were now.

"WOO HOO!" Trixie threw back her head, laughing at the top of her lungs as the wind whipped through her hair and she pulled up on the steering wheel. "OH YEAH!" she, dropped her head back down to face forward, her features growing serious as she revved the engine as she turned the corner, nearing the jump. "Tell me when, Speed," she told her passenger, the great racer was clinging to his seat for, what seemed to be, dear life, "you can hear her, I can't."

There was a moment of silence as she straightened out, feeling him radiate concentration. Just as she was about to glance at him to see if his eyes were closed he pointed ahead and screamed, "NOW!" She slammed her foot down, as hard as she could, on the gas pedal, and the back tires squealed for a second and she was frozen to that spot on the track right for a half a second before it shot off, over the ramp and flew through the air. It felt good to be the driver, for once.

The Mach landed heavily, but dutifully and beautifully on the other side of track and Trixie wasted no time bringing around the next curve and doing it all over again. She was going to stop steering and start driving if it was the last thing she ever did.

A week later, something changed. Trixie was in her own bed, by herself, that particular morning, when everything changed, and, when she awoke, she could feel it. She was cautious as she got dressed, her short-sleeved pink top, her skinny denim jeans and her converse shoes. She applied her eye liner thinly and her mascara, a dark, pinkish color today, heavily, to plump up her eyelashes, and bring out her big browns. She ran her bright red lipstick over her lips carefully, letting it slide over her lips one less time than usual. Soft, but sweet today, like Speed's favorite candy.

Grabbing her pink clutch she walked into the parlor and opened the door, planning on stepping out onto the stoop and going to her car to head to Speed's. But Racer X was standing there, his hand up in the air, balled into a fist, about to knock on a door that was no longer there. Trixie started, her foot instinctively coming back over the threshold as she took on a slightly surprised look. "Hi Rex…?" He looked angry for a second, but he also looked tired and worn out. Fatigue overtook any nasty thing he might have said to her, his head dropping as he surrendered for the moment. She invited him in with a wave of her hand and closed the door again. The rest of the Racer family could wait a few extra minutes. "Can I get you anything?" she asked, motioning toward the kitchen. Rex shook his head, taking the seat she offered him on the couch and removing his mask, running a hand through his hair in the front to fix it. His eyes were sadder today, he looked deader inside than he had last time she'd seen him.

She sighed as she realized she hadn't thought much about him this past week, so of course he was going to show up now, in need of her company. "You look nice today, Trix."

She flinched, only Speed called her Trix, she didn't like the way it rolled off Rex's tongue, even in his weakened state. She narrowed her eyes but bit back a sour reply and went with "Thank you."

"Sure…" he looked up at her, through those thick lashes of his and he seemed to want to ask something. She crossed her arms, waiting, one eyebrow raised, attitude at the ready, if the need should arise. "Calm down, Trix-"

"Trixie," she said through lightly clenched teeth, "my name is Trixie."

"Speed calls you-oh." He nodded, understanding now. So it had just been a misunderstanding. That calmed Trixie a little. Wait, what had she expected? How could she flatter herself that way? Suddenly she was disgusted with the way her thoughts had gone and tried to focus on Rex's face while he fought some inner demon on the subject of his reason for being there. "Trixie…I told you not to tell the family…"

"I didn't. Swear it," she raised her right hand. Something her and Speed had done in middle school. A scout's honor thing, though neither of them had ever done scouting.

"You told-"

"SPEED RACER IS IN THE HOUSE, BABY!" The front door opened and closed, Trixie turned, a look of worry and fear on her face, to see Speed coming toward her. His arms were out stretched, ready to hug her, he didn't seem to notice her expression right away. He caught her, capturing her lips for just a moment before looking into her eyes and saying "what kept you babe, we were going to the lake today, remember? Early start…long drive…" he did a little dance move in front of her, as if it might jog her memory, "eh? Eh?" He looked around. Then saw the man sitting on Trixie's couch. His face fell, his smile fading and a look of confusion taking over. "Rex? What are you doing here?" The question was so innocent, a wonder at his placement in Trixie's house, rather than the fact that it was a brother he hadn't seen for a long, long time. Trixie nearly choked, but she calmed herself with a run though her hair with skinny, pale fingers.

Rex stood up, replacing his mask and passed by them both, heading for the front door, "thank you Trixie," he said, it sounded heartfelt, and his hand brushed her hip in a physical contact kind of way, for friendly appreciation. She pulled away from him instinctively, his fingers rough on her skin, as her jeans were low rise and left a ring of skin showing between the waistline of her pants and the bottom of her shirt. He wasn't wearing his gloves today, for whatever reason, and his fingers were not gentle. They were not loving. They were not Speed's. Rex smiled anyway, like she hadn't done anything, and something told her he'd be back soon.

When he was gone, Speed seemed very suspicious, stepping back from Trixie and squinting his eyes a little. Speed didn't like being confused and right now he was; very, very much. "Trixie…?"

"I don't even know why he was here, Speed." She slumped, shaking her head, "I really don't. But it creeped me out," she bit her lip, then turned around and headed back up the stairs, "go home. Pack. We're staying at the lake for a week, you know? Time away, that's what we need."

"Time away, huh?" Speed grinned at her back as she went up the stairs, "what are we gunna do all week?"

She turned a little, looking at him through the bars of the staircase, "swim. Ride in the boat. Read by the water. Watch the Sunset. Dip our toes in the shallow water by the dock and watch the minnows swim around. Have fun…you know."

"Oh. I know." Speed nodded, his smile small, a ghost of the last one. "Get away from reality. From life. I can do that, Trix, I can do that."

"Good, 'cause I can't go without you."

"Sure you can."

"No, Speed, I really couldn't. That's too long to be away from you. Besides, what fun would that be, all alone, and how the hell would I satisfy myself?" Speed smirked, and Trixie scoffed, "you're disgusting, Speed Racer, absolutely disgusting."

"Just the way you like it," he murmured, turning on his heel to go home and pack, just as Trixie murmured

"Just the way I like it," and she turned on her heel and headed into the bedroom.

"Welcome to the Great Escape, Mr. Racer," Speed said to himself as he got into the Mach and took one last glance at the house before he went home, "make your move." Slamming the pedal to the metal he zoomed right past the stop sign and hurried inside. Trixie was a fast worker and she was also impatient. Better to be ready ASAP.

_Annie_ Trixie wrote

_Went with Speed to the Lake. I'll be back in a week, promise. If anyone comes to the house, tell them to come back later, or not at all. Whichever. Love you. Have fun, okay? _

_Trixie_

It wasn't heartfelt and it didn't make too much sense, but Trixie taped it to the kitchen counter and left the house, locking the door and waiting on the sidewalk for Speed to pick her up. He didn't take long, two minutes tops.

"Hop in, beautiful," he said, dropping his glasses further down his nose to check her out, his left arm on top of the door as he leaned toward her, out of the car.

Rolling her eyes, Trixie put her suitcase in the trunk and climbed in the passenger's side. She put on her own sunglasses, the sunlight not much of a problem anyway. It was one of those days where the sun was bright enough for sunglasses, but when you put them on it was a little too dark. She didn't mind, she only had eyes for Speed, who was doing his best to watch the road.

Trixie swirled little circles on her thigh, through her jeans, with her index finger, and then her pinkie, in an effort to find something to watch other than Speed. It didn't work very well because not five minutes later Speed reached over the gear shift and took her cool hand in his warm grasp. "You distracting you so you don't distract me is distracting me, Trix."

"Sorry," her voice was soft; it didn't need to be loud, they were alone.

Speed shook his head, turning to look at her as he stopped at a stop sign, "I love you," he said, sure it was random…ish…but it was nice to hear. Trixie smiled at him and he shrugged a little. "Need a reminder?"

The memory hit her the second he said it, though the roles were a little intermixed, and she took on an amused expression. "Sometimes a girl could use a reminder." She leaned over the console a little, meeting him halfway and it took all of his self-control not to unbuckle himself, park the car, and leap at her. But a soft, passionate, ten second kiss, would have to do for now. They'd already been at the stop sign too long.

"Mmm," Trixie said as she leaned back and Speed took off down the road, his hand tight around her's again, she looked like she'd just eaten something really good. "I love you too."


	7. Chapter 7: Too Important to Wait

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 7: Too important to Wait**

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Speed Racer or anything associated with it._

Speed gave her that smile he knew she loved so much as he swirled his finger around her belly button, drawing imaginary circles on her bare stomach. Trixie returned the smile, turning her head a little, the sound of her hair rustling over the pillow too loud in her ear. She ignored it, though, because Speed gave her what she'd wanted; he leaned down, grabbing another kiss from her. She closed her eyes as she reached around him, tangling her fingers in his hair, holding the back of his head. He wouldn't have been able to pull back even if he'd wanted to, which he didn't. She felt the bed move below her as he positioned himself above her, for a better angle, his strong arms holding him up so his weight wasn't on her. Their bodies just touched, skin to skin, and he was so warm. He always was.

He pulled away, just a little, and whispered, "It's ten."

"Then, it's time."

He grinned, obviously liking that answer, and resumed their original activity.

?-

"First one in the water's a rotten egg!" Trixie chirped, dropping her dry towel on the deck and dashing across the lush green yard behind the house, toward the water. She heard Speed open the sliding screen door a second before everything was drowned out by the _crash-thump_s that resounded every time she stomped down on the dock, heading right for the edge.

"Not fair, Trix," Speed shouted, making her laugh aloud right before the water came up over her head. She shot upward, toward the surface, breaking through and throwing her hands in the air. And there was Speed, flying over her, already jumped off the dock, and he landed, with quite a splash, showering Trixie with droplets of water on her already soaked hair, beside her. He came up a second later, a goofy grin on his face. She laughed again, shaking her head a little. "Not fair."

"Is so fair; you run faster than me anyway, you could have won."

"Rematch"

No questions were asked; the couple pulled themselves out of the lake and stumbled their way back up the lawn to the deck. Trixie picked up her towel, drying her hair just a little. Speed didn't wait, though, he shouted "GO!" and Trixie dropped her towel and made a mad-dash after Speed. She caught up as he reached the dock, but he cheated and turned around, grabbing her around the waist, and throwing them both into the water. When they both resurfaced, Trixie pretended to be angry, giving him a look, and he shrugged, like he didn't understand, "would you look at that, Trix. We tied. Guess you're just as good as me."

?-

"Geez," Trixie complained, reaching over and turning off the alarm on her digi-clock, "it's already Sunday." She made a face as she sat up, Speed groaned and rolled over.

"Five more minutes, Trix…then we'll leave."

She laughed, "sleep all day, Speed, sweetie," she turned her body to look at him, running her hand over the hair on the side of his head and smiling down at him, "you can sleep all day if you want." She kissed him on the cheek and got out of the bed, she'd get ready while Speed woke himself up, she knew he wouldn't sleep all day.

A few minutes later, when Trixie was brushing her bangs, trying to get them to sit right, Speed prowled in, snaking his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek, pulling her toward him. His body was hard against hers, but she melded herself to him, and they seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces. She set her brush down and looked at him in the mirror, "mornin' Speed."

"Mornin' Trix," he gave the three-and-a-half teeth smile. "Can I ask you something?" he looked serious all of the sudden, and Trixie felt a pang of worry, but his eyes, catching the fluorescent light of the bathroom, told her everything was okay. _Everything's great_ he was telling her, in that little secret language they had, _everything is better than great._

"Of course, but do you have to do it now? Like, in here?"

Speed shook his head, "of course not." He took her hand and pulled her back into the bedroom, "it's too important for that, but it's too important to wait, too." What in the world could be that important to Speed besides racing? She sat down on the bed when Speed instructed her to and she bit down, hard, on her lip as a look of uncertainty passed over Speed's face. Then, just like that, he knelt before her and pulled a little square box from under the bed. Opening it and looking up into Trixie's eyes, he softly smiled, "Trixie…will you marry me?"

Trixie teared up, "oh, Speed!" She threw herself at him, embracing him, crushing him in a hug. He put his arms around her too and he could see the ring, set prettily in the box, the most important box Speed had ever seen, the good-sized diamond perched on a pretty silver band. "Yes."

She could feel him relax and she breathed the word, felt his arms tighten around her. He closed his eyes, thanking every God he could think of, and he felt good.


	8. Chapter 8: Chip Off the Ol' Block

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 8: Chip Off the Ol' Block**

**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing._

"Well," Mom said the minute Trixie opened the side door and stepped into the kitchen Monday morning, "let's see it."

At first Trixie had not idea what she was talking about. Could she have possibly found out about the tattoo Trixie had gotten Sunday afternoon? If so, how had she found out so **fast**? But then she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and a silver blur crossed her vision as she brought her hand down. "Oh," she held out her left hand, the large diamond glinting in the lights of the kitchen. She heard Spritle whistle in approval and she allowed herself a small laugh. "Speed up yet?" she asked Pops as Mom snatched Trixie's hand and stood over it in awe, a look of satisfaction, jealousy, and pride on her face.

Pops shook his head, "not yet."

But just as he said it Speed's bedroom door opened and Speed, slumped over and only half-awake, came into view, his nose in the air. "Is that French Toast I smell?"

Trixie grinned, amused. Spritle wrinkled his nose, "yeah." He didn't sound happy that there were no pancakes this morning.

"Hey Speed," she purred.

He opened his eyes all the way, running a hand through his hair and his tongue over his lips, "hey Trix," he sounded out of breath. Somehow, she always did that to him. "How're you this fine morning?" he waved his hand around, trying to be dramatic. Trixie rolled her eyes and cracked a smile; he always seemed hung-over before breakfast.

"Great, better than great. I've never been better."

"What a coincidence," he mused, throwing his arms out as he stepped toward her. She met him in the middle and they embraced, "me too."

"Don't stow away in the trunk this time, Spri," Trixie told the littlest Racer.

"Why not?" Spritle asked, adding a notch of innocence to his question, like he hadn't even considered it.

"We're going to in-spur-ay-shun point." He pretended to shove a finger down his throat on each syllable, like Spritle had when he'd snuck away with Chim-Chim in the back of the Mach 5 last year.

Spritle, quite dramatically, screamed and ran back into the house waving his arms wildly over his head. Chim-Chim followed suit. Trixie and Speed burst out laughing and Trixie climbed into the Mach as Speed shut the trunk on their picnic basket. He jumped into the driver's seat without opening the door and shoved the key into the ignition. "Hold on, Trix," he said over the engine as he revved it. Throwing the Mach in reverse, he put the pedal to the metal and they were gone. Trixie, of course, hadn't 'held on' and, instead, had thrown her hands in the air and let out a scream of excitement.

"I love when you do that." She grinned, when they stopped at a light, "but I love when you do anything."

"Even when I breathe?"

"Especially when you breathe."

Obviously satisfied, Speed zoomed off at the green light and they made it to Inspiration point in record time. "Impatient, aren't we?" Trixie asked, opening the door and stepping out onto the grass and walking to the front of the Mach 5, where she could feel the soft early summer breeze in her face and see the whole city living on below her. She felt like she was on top of the world; that feeling escalated when she felt Speed's arms go around her waist, the way he liked to do when it was just the two of them, standing around. Trixie thought about her relationship with Speed and how physical it was. They touched every chance they got, and then some, but it was perfectly balanced because a good half of their intimate moments were with words and looks and telepathic feelings.

"I love you," Speed's words tickled her ear as he whispered them to her. A quiver snaked down her spine and she swiveled in his grasp and found herself very much face-to-face with her favorite person. Their noses touched and she smiled, happy. He returned that smile and Trixie felt herself go weak in the knees, but Speed was a strong man and he held her up effortlessly. She turned her head just a little and grabbed a gentle, sweet kiss from him. He didn't push it, the tenderness of it all was beautiful, but even Trixie felt that need, the want, for a more aggressive activity. She could feel the passion behind the softest of lip touches, and the tension on Speed's arms told her he couldn't wait much longer.

Trixie put down her half eaten cookie and lay back on the red-checkered blanket Speed had lain out over the grass. The picnic basket was on her left, Speed, sitting with his legs straight out in front of him, wiggling his toes, on her right. He was shirtless, sweat glistening off his chest, Trixie felt herself swoon and he looked down at her, concerned for a moment, then his eyes danced with laughter. She gave him an innocent look and he went back to staring out over the cliff.

Trixie threw an arm over her eyes, the sun shining in her face as she tanned without trying. Goodbye creamy skin, goodbye ghostly pale. She heard Speed shift, but she didn't think anything of it. But then the sun was blocked out and she was cast into the shadow and she moved her arm down to her stomach, squinting up into Speed's face. He had a mischievous expression and Trixie found herself excited, "yes, Speed?" she purred, just to tease him.

"You can't be comfortable in those tight little shorts, Trix," he said, tugging at the button she'd just put together half an hour ago.

She smirked, running her tongue over her top lip. "I've worn less comfortable things."

"Like?"

"This bra is killing me," she said, shifting uncomfortably beneath him. That much was true, the tight, jean, booty shorts were cake next to this stupid bra, but it was all she had put over herself while they ate. It was easier to tan without a shirt.

"I think I can help you with that…" she felt his fingers slid under her back, his hands somehow nice and cool against her heated skin. He was nothing but a silhouette above her, but she didn't mind, because she knew his face better than her own.

"Did you two enjoy yourselves?" Mom asked as she poured Trixie some milk. The Racer family sat at the dinner table, Spritle and Chim-Chim already in their pajamas, Pops looking tired, and Sparky with his dirty face, obviously he hadn't showered yet. The family started to eat their steaks, which were delicious, of course, Mom could cook nothing wrong; Trixie reached forward and grabbed her milk. Her new ring clicked against the glass and Spritle looked up out of instinct, and his jaw dropped.

"Speed!" he cried, "where'd you get that thing!" He pointed at Trixie's hand.

Sparky looked up, his eyes widening as he took in the giant ring on Trixie's finger, "holy canole, Speed."

Trixie took another look at the monstrous diamond, taking in all its angles and sharp corners. She lost herself in the jewel, that is, until she felt Speed's hand on her arm. His fingers slide across her forearm, over her wrist, and he grabbed her hand, bringing it back to him, and staring at her until she turned to look at him. "She deserves nothing less." Trixie and Mom both made a sort of 'aw' sound of affection and appreciation. "Oh, Trix," Speed reached over with his other hand and tucked her hair behind her ear, using his thumb to capture the tear that rolled out of her eye and attempted to trail down her cheek, "don't cry."

Spritle pretended to choke to the point of nausea, "too. Mushy. Can't. Breathe."

Mom glared at him, "now Spritle."

"Tell them to get a room!"

"After Trixie has gotten her fill, I promise, Spri, we'll go into my room. And we'll shut the door nice and tight, okay?"

Spritle actually gagged on a piece of meat this time. Speed chuckled, leaning back in his chair, Trixie blushed, Mom covered her mouth politely with her napkin, Pops raised an eyebrow, and Sparky put a fist over his mouth as he fought back an outburst of laughter.

"I'll see you in the morning, Speed," Trixie told her boyfriend as she turned on her car. Speed was leaning against the door, his head in the window, which Trixie had rolled down after she got in, his arms crossed in the opening. "I wish I could stay, but I really should spend some time with Annie."

Speed nodded, understanding. But it made him ache everywhere, especially his heart, to watch Trixie leave. "Soon, you'll live with us," he promised.

Trixie nodded, leaning over and kissing him goodbye. He lingered in her face for a moment, then shoved away from her car and she pulled it out of the driveway, sticking her arm out the window and waving goodbye. Speed waved back until she was out of sight, then he sighed and his entire body slumped.

Mom put her arm around her middle son, rubbing his opposite shoulder. "You take after your father, you know?"

"Yeah?" he said quietly.

"Yeah," she smiled, looking up at the stars. "He was always so romantic, and he married his best friend."

Speed smiled at his mom, sideways hugging her. Pops came up on Mom's other side, nodding. "Let's hope Trixie takes after you, sweetie, and she's just as beautiful as she grows older."

Mom looked flattered and Speed turned toward the house, willing to give them the privacy they always offered him and Trixie. "She will," he said, to himself, as he opened the door to go inside. Mom turned around, a perfect little smile on her face, as her pride for her son shown all over her face. Speed didn't see it, but Mom didn't mind, she just turned back to the stars as Speed turned off the porch light and his parents were cast into the moonlight. Mom leaned her head on Pops' shoulder and he hugged her to his side as they stood in the driveway. Speed watched them through the curtain for half a second, whispering as he stepped away from the window, "she will."


	9. Chapter 9: Time to Kill

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 9: Time to Kill**

Morning came and the sun was just about ready to come up and shine over the city when Trixie was startled awake. She wasn't sure what had woken her, but she had a terrible feeling, the hairs of the back of her neck, on her arms, and at her hairline, were raised high. It wasn't a bad dream, she was sure. It was something more.

She sat up, squinting around in the dark, trying to make out the shapes of her bedroom. Something moved in the corner, just a slight shift, but it moved. There was nothing that could move on its own in her room, she knew, and she even checked to make sure the window was closed, it was. So a breeze hadn't shaken it. Her door was closed too, another bad sign.

Suddenly, she felt her breathing go ragged. She got up, padded over to the light switch, and turned on the light. She scanned her bedroom, but there was nothing out of the ordinary that she could spot. Unnerved, she went into the bathroom, might as well get dressed and ready, she could head over to Speed's early and help Mom with breakfast, maybe. She allowed herself to smile at that thought, as scared as she was.

It didn't take her all that long to get ready, but it took her awhile. She made a lot of noise, behind the closed door of her bathroom, to drown out any sounds from her bedroom that might scare her, even though they shouldn't. She swallowed as she turned the knob of the door and stepped back into the light of her bedroom. She reached down, taking a deep breath, and went to zip the front of her skin-tight purple dress. She'd decided to wear it because she and Speed were going shopping today and it was easy to get in and out of. At least, that was her excuse. But just as she dropped her gaze, the lights went off and her fingers slipped from the zipper, which was unzipped to just above her belly button.

Something came at her in the darkness, but she didn't scream, for some reason. Whoever, or whatever, it was, threw her onto her bed. She shrieked a little then, but she couldn't figure out what was going on. Suddenly, her brain wasn't working right and she couldn't breathe. The, it was a person, Trixie had decided, crawled on top of her. She squeezed her eyes shut, fearing the worst. But the hands that unzipped her dress the rest of the way were gentle, but the knuckles were calloused as they grazed her stomach. She shivered against them, uncomfortable.

Still just as gentle as before, the person, a male, Trixie had also decided, hooked a forefinger in her underwear elastic and tugged down a little, testing their leeway. She gasped, surprised. The man above her stopped for a second and chuckled. The laugh brought Trixie back to reality and she reached up, coming into contact with bare skin, a strong chest. A hand lashed out, grabbing both her wrists and pinning her arms above her head. His arms were just as strong, and when he bent down and caught her lips in his own his lips were strong, his breath hot and heavy. This was not Speed Racer, Trixie realized, and she shoved at his chest, hard, with all her might. He pulled away, but he growled too. Now she was scared, but she didn't thrash, she knew that wouldn't help.

Instead she sucked in and held her breath. "Don't make a sound," the man whispered, threateningly, in her ear. She stiffened, glad she had already been holding her breath, or it would have caught, and then she screamed. She screamed bloody murder, a loud, shrill, high-pitched shriek that actually blew out the soft light of the lamp she'd left on in her bathroom. She screamed because this was not Speed Racer, but it was a Racer. Rex.

She screamed so loud that she didn't hear Annie fall out of bed. She didn't hear Annie nearly rip her door of its hinges trying to get out of her bedroom and up the stairs. She screamed so long that she didn't Speed Racer ripping down the street, still in his pajamas, awoken by the scream of his loved one, from all the way down the street, in his Mach 5.

Annie burst through the door, throwing her shoulder against it as she turned the knob, for extra drama, Trixie guessed later. It was her turn to scream when she saw the scene; a now quiet Trixie, her eyes shut tight, her body tense, looking uncomfortable beyond measure underneath a buff, young, but older than Trixie by plenty of years, man who was completely naked from head to toe. Trixie's purple zip-up dress was lying underneath her, obviously not taken off by her own accord, as she would have been brainy enough to take it out from under her. Annie was overjoyed to see that Trixie was still wearing underwear, that she wasn't too late.

But before she could react, Speed burst through the window, not even bothering with the front door. "Trix-" he stopped, staring in great awe at the scene laid before him, "-ie." He extended an arm out toward Racer X; palm up, fingers flat. A dramatic point, "what is this?"

"Speed," Trixie moaned for help, still underneath Racer X, who hadn't moved.

"Trixie!" He seemed to remember why he was here in the first place, "you woke up the entire block," he hadn't even realized, as he jumped out of bed, the time or the reason for such an outburst from Trixie. But now he understood and he didn't know how to react.

Annie rolled her eyes, then went frantically around the area of the room she was in, looking for something to hit Racer X with. Trixie reached out to her aunt, "Annie…no," suddenly she was out of breath, that scream had taken a lot out of her. Racer X trailed his hand up Trixie's arm, making her, out of instinct, look up at him. Their eyes met and for a second Trixie was confused because he had Speed's eyes, but then she felt his hand run over her chest and she turned away as his fingertips brushed her jaw.

"I'll be back," he whispered in her ear. Then he was gone. Trixie sat up quickly, feeling his presence leave before her eyes believed it. She gasped as she looked around, but he was nowhere. Gone, already out the door. His clothes weren't anywhere on the floor either, odd. She looked over at Speed, her eyes wide and walked over to her, slowly, his arms outstretched so he could see them. He took her wrist in his hand, slowly wrapping his fingers around it, and pulling her off the bed, making her stand in front of him. He looked at her face for a moment, and Trixie searched his to try to figure out what he was thinking, but it was a mixture she couldn't place before he bent his neck down and took her zipper between his thumb and forefinger and pulled it up to just above her chest line.

She smiled at him, "thanks." She reached up and cupped his face in her hand, he felt it shake and so did she.

"Oh, Trix," he pulled her into a hug, surprising her for a second before she wrapped her arms around his neck as he tightened his hold around her waist. "I'm so sorry."

"Speed…you didn't do anything."

"I know, I know…but-"

Annie, now over in the corner, gagged, bringing the two's attention over to her. "I'd tell you to get a room, but I suppose you'd just tell me I'm intruding." Speed and Trixie both shrugged and Annie threw up her hands, "alright, alright," she made her way to the door, "I'm leaving. Forget I was ever here."

"Actually, Annie," Speed said, planting his most handsome smile on his face and making Trixie weak at the knees without meaning to, "I'll just take Trixie back to my place." Annie glowered for a second, then nodded before leaving. "Pack your bags, Trix," he purred in her ear, "we're going home."

"Oh goodness," Mom said, clasping a hand to her bosom as Trixie re-told the story to her, of course leaving out the part about Racer X being Rex. She started at the part where he started showing up places she was, and ended at the scene in her bedroom. She nodded as she took a sip of orange juice and looked around the table. As usual, she took in everyone's outward appearance; Spritle with his jaw on the floor, pancakes stuffed on the end of his fork hovering in the air, momentarily forgotten, Chim-Chim shrieking away and waving his arms, Pops staring at her with concern, and Sparky looking her over in a new light, obviously pitying her. She hated every second of it.

She stood up, her chair sliding back as the back of her knees hit the front of it, "if you'll excuse me a moment." She started off down the hallway before waiting for an answer, heading straight for the bathroom, right down the hallway, no difficult twists and turns.

"Trix-" Speed always knew when something was wrong, he stood up too, running down the hall after her and catching up easily. He blocked her way into the bathroom by putting his hands on either side of the doorframe. "What's wrong?"

"Everyone's looking at me," she whined, "and they're all sorry for me."

Speed looked confused, giving her a look that said she was crazy. "They care about you."

"Oh, I know that, Speed. It's just…unsettling."

"Okay, I'll talk to them." He stepped out of the way and Trixie zoomed into the bathroom. Speed, once again, her knight in shining armor.

"We've still got some time to kill," Speed told Trixie on their way home from the mall. "Dinner's not for another hour and a half," he raised an eyebrow at her and she returned the gesture, shrugging mutely. He gave her one of his looks that sent her into a whirlwind of passion. "Inspiration point, hun?"

"Oh, you know it, baby."


	10. Chapter 10: TheBig Day

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter Ten: The Big Day**

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own anything. Yada Yada._

_**WARNING: **__**This chapter is verbally violent. You have been forewarned about the language. **_

_**So no complaints.**_

"Annie," Trixie sighed, leaning against the wall of the church, "I'm scared. Why am I scared?"

"This is something you've never done before,' her aunt said supportingly. "You have every right and reason to be scared. But, hey," Trixie looked up at her, "you love Speed, right?" Trixie clutched at her chest and nodded, "then you also know this is right." Annie was right, of course; Trixie could feel her completion running through her veins. It was a funny feeling, almost like she could feel her blood beneath her skin, caressing the bottom layers of her flesh.

Trixie shivered as her aunt stepped away and picked up her tiara. Speed and Trixie had both vetoed a veil; it was silly and impractical, as far as they were concerned. Annie agreed, as she'd come to with anything and everything Trixie said. It was because Trixie was so happy with Speed, she claimed, but somehow everyone figured there was more to it. Trixie didn't think about that now, she stood up straight and took her bouquet from Annie, pulling open the door of the Sunday school classroom they'd changed in. Beautiful blue eyes stared back at her, right in her face. She was about to tell Speed that it was unlucky to see the bride before the ceremony, but Annie cut in first.

"You've got a lot of nerve to show up her, Sir!" she waved her finger at him, trying to get around Trixie. But Trixie stood her ground, staring into the pools of blue and getting lost. "How dare you breathe and stand in front of my baby girl like you own the world; like you OWN her. She's not yours!"

"Annie," Trixie breathed, "please, stop shouting."

"Trixie!"

Then it hit her and she let her fist fly. Racer X wasn't ready for it and he fell back on his tail bone with a bloody nose. Trixie suddenly had trouble breathing, like she had just woken up from a trance. "Trixie…" he whispered, making her flinch. She imagined his breath on her lips, like they had been a couple of days ago. Flinching, she stepped back into the room and slammed the door, breathing heavily and she squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could, grabbing the stems of her bouquet as tightly as she could and repressing a scream of outrage and fear. "I just wanted to come and ask you not to do this. I-I don't know why, but you strike me. I-I want you for myself, and it kills me that my little brother has scooped you up instead."

She turned, slamming the side of her fist into the door over and over again, and then she sobbed, her make-up running down her face in gushes. "Speed has always been there for me, you bastard. Speed never hurt me, or anyone else in his family. And what did you do, damn it! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO! You left, Rex, you left. Even I cried, but I cried for the pain you caused Speed and the rest of his family, not for you. And I'm not crying for you now, I'm crying for me this time. Today is about me. Me and Speed and I refuse to let you fuck that up. So go away and don't you ever show your face here again."

Racer X blinked, surprised. He was surprised by her ferocity and by how much her words stung. He nodded, though Trixie couldn't see him and he turned around, ready to leave, to give up for the second time in his life. _You really shouldn't make a habit of this, X_ he told himself, but he looked up from his shoes and started. Pops stood there, in his tux, staring at Racer X, scared and confused. "Can I help you?" he asked, pretending he hardly recognized Pops.

"Rex?"

Racer X took another step and Trixie threw open the door, pointing a finger viciously at him. "He's a liar. That is Rex Racer, he lied to you and he lied to the world. Because he didn't have the balls to face what the racing world was throwing at him. Think about it, who did he blow up to make it look like he died? What person gave their life so he could walk free of what he wasn't man enough to face?"

Racer X turned around, surely ready to kill Trixie. But Pops, the retired professional wrestler, was faster. He grabbed Rex and put him in a head lock, "you've heard enough people in my family, I will not let you hurt another." Trixie was about to say something, but Annie grabbed her arm and pulled her back into the room again, telling her they needed to fix her make-up.

"I do," Speed said, smiling at Trixie. No one had told him about Racer X and Pops hadn't told Mom anything either. Trixie looked up at Speed for the millionth time and she was about to smile when their eyes caught each other and the beautiful blues she had always loved frightened her. She would have stumbled, but she was standing still. She gripped his arm anyway, as she suddenly felt the sensation of falling. Closing her eyes she begged the God she hadn't talked to in years to give her the strength to look at Speed as she used and to look past the features she shared with the one who had nearly broken her. Or had he? Was she coming apart as the seams as she stood there, in the arms of the one person who had always, always loved her, no matter what?

She breathed out through her nose and slowly opened her eyes to see Speed watching her, concerned and scared. She licked her lips subtly, then nodded just a little and said her vows as the priest recited them for her. "I do," she whispered and Speed smiled as she stared him in the eyes the entire time, shaking a little but holding her own.

"You may now kiss the bride," the priest announced and he closed his book. Raising an eyebrow, Speed looked at Trixie for a second, making her do her corner-of-the-mouth smile. She nodded and he swooped down, wrapping his arms around her waist and placed his mouth over hers before she could blink, but she fell into it like she always did and she could hear the cheers and whoops of their audience.

"Everyone to the reception across the street!" Trixie heard Annie shout as she and Speed pulled away.

The reception was held in one of the party rooms at the hotel across from the church. It was filled with music and people; the dance floor was never empty the entire night. Even when it was time to eat, some of the littler kids were out shaking it out on the dance floor. Trixie and Speed did a lot of dancing too, not much of it slow and soft, but they didn't miss any of those songs.

"You know," Speed told Trixie, near the end of the night, "after all these years, we don't have a song." This was true, Trixie realized, but she had no idea what it would be, what it should be. She shrugged and Speed laughed. "Maybe you're right," he said, though Trixie hadn't said anything. "Maybe there are too many songs for us to find the right one." Again, Trixie decided, this was true.

"Thank you, everyone," the DJ said into the microphone around twelve thirty, "for coming. I hope you enjoyed yourself and congrats to Speed and Trixie Racer, I hope you two enjoy your life together." Everyone jumped up, clapping and cheering. "Here's the last song of the evening," and just as suddenly as the day had started, it was over.


	11. Chapter 11: Congratulations, Mr Racer

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 11: Congratulations, Mr. Racer**

**Disclaimer: **_You know the drill_

_"Mom," Speed whispered in awe, pulling his hand away from his mother's stomach, wide-eyed. "He kicked me," he frowned at his the bulge in front of his face. _

_ Mom Racer laughed and nodded, "he's letting you know he's there," she told him, resting her hand on her stomach. It had been a long five months and she knew she had only three to go. The idea of having another son made her glow and even at twelve, Speed could see what all the ladies on the block were talking about when they spoke of pregnant women. All of the ladies he'd seen had just seemed fat and unhappy, but his mother always looked on the bright side of her pains and her late nights and early mornings._

_ When's he comin', ma?" Speed asked, excited that he would soon have a sibling in the house again. It had been two years since Rex left, forever…Speed tried not to think about it much, but the house still seemed emptier with him gone, even after all this time._

_ "Very soon, Speed," she replied, "I promise."_

"And Racer X is at it again!" the announcer's voice blared through the house as Speed sat on the couch beside Trixie, watching a race on T.V.

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to drive!" Speed said, jumping up, making Trixie giggle. He put his fists on his hips and tried to look like a super hero. "I'll be the best there ever was. I'll beat Racer X, the Harbinger of_Boom, he'll be a chump next to my Mach! I'll-"_

_ His mother's scream from the kitchen sent him tumbling backward off the couch mid-sentence, but Trixie was too worried about Mom to laugh at Speed this time. She quickly helped him up and the rushed to Mom's aid, but Pops was already there helping her out the door. "Kids," he said as he helped her down the steps, "get the keys, Mom is having the baby!" This tossed everything into a frenzy and Speed was happy and nervous all at the same time. _

_There was no need to worry, though. They quickly got Mom into the delivery room and before the trio knew it, they were being called into see healthy little Spritle. _

It had been a month and a half since Trixie and Speed had returned from their honeymoon and Trixie had been feeling quite sick for three weeks now. She would wake up, especially early in the morning, and throw up, even when she didn't think she could possibly have anything to throw up. Speed stayed up late, and early into the morning, with her, holding back her hair from her face, rubbing back, making her tea and soup. He did hardly anything other than take care of her and it was taking a toll on the entire Racer family, as Trixie had moved in four days after the newlyweds' return from the Islands of Arousal. She tried to apologize countless times for what she was doing to them, but they would hear nothing of it. Mom insisted that all they wanted was for Trixie to be better and they would handle it, no matter how long it took.

On the fifth week of her sickness, Speed told her that he wanted to take her to the hospital. The doctor had said four weeks ago that she just had the stomach bug, that'd she'd get better. If this was Trixie getting better on his doctor's terms, Speed wouldn't hear of it. It nearly killed him not to sleep and, instead, watch his wife lay limp and helplessly in their bed, moaning softly about the pain in her abdomen and the throb of her head and the nausea that brewed in her stomach. He kissed her forehead when she nodded in agreement and then squeezed her eyes shut against the pain it caused her.

"Well, Mrs. Racer," the doctor replied, coming back into the room, looking intently at his clipboard. Speed stood up, staring meaningfully at the doctor before them. The rest of his family was out in the waiting room, where they had been for half an hour. "You're perfectly fine, as far as being sick goes." He looked up, to show he was completely serious.

"You no good-" Speed started, but the doctor held up a hand, as though he was not finished.

"This is perfectly normal for what you're going through."

"What am I going through…sir?"

The doctor turned to Speed, "congrats, Mr. Racer," he said, smiling softly, as though there was a joke only he knew. "You're going to be a father."


	12. Chapter 12: When Will You Just Disappear

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 12: When will you just disappear?**

"You're what?"

"I know, I know!" Trixie said, shaking her head, "I almost don't believe it too."

"It's entirely possible," Spritle said, shrugging, "you and Speed do it…so, you know."

"Spritle!" Mom Racer scolded, giving Trixie an apologetic look, but she got a smile and a head shake telling her he was fine.

"What!" the little boy asked, throwing his hands in the air, "they do!"

Trixie leaned against the table, as she'd already sat down, and rested her elbows on the table, putting her head in her hands. "What am I going to do?" she said, starting to cry for the tenth time that morning. Speed and Trixie had decided not to tell the family until the next morning, but Speed was sleeping in and Trixie couldn't blame him. Just as she thought about the fact that he actually got some sleep, she heard his door open and she looked up.

Speed was instantly upset and he rushed to her side, "oh Trixie, baby, don't cry. It's okay-we're gunna get through this sweetie, you'll see." He rubbed her arm affectionately, but his words seemed to have no effect, as she burrowed her face into his chest and continued to cry.

"This is going to ruin everything," she said between gasps for breath. "You're going to resent me for bringing this baby about because then you'll have to focus more on us, instead of all your racing. Oh, Speed. I'm so, so sorry." She grabbed hold of his shirt, as it was the first thing she could find that she could clench her hand around.

"Trix," he said, hugging her close to him, "is that what this is about?" he pushed her away enough that he could see her face, "don't you ever think that racing means more to me than you do. And you're going to have this baby and I'm going to take care of it. I'll race when I can, I'll be more careful when I do. If I have to, I'll quit altogether." This sent Trixie into another round of hysterics and Mom shook her head, grabbing Speed by the shoulder.

"Break the poor girl's heart why don't you," she grumbled, "come now, dear," she said to her daughter-in-law. She led her to the master bedroom and had her take a seat on the bed. "Trixie," Mom said as she closed the door, giving them some privacy, "Speed loves you very much, he wants to do whatever is going to make you happy and whatever he feels he has to in order to take care of you. There's plenty of us here at the house to take care of that baby, so Speed can drive whenever he likes. I promise, Trixie, the only thing that will change is the number of people living in this house and how often you and Speed get to go off just the two of you."

Trixie nodded, Mom was much better at pep talks than Speed, at least about this kind of thing. She was right, of course, there was plenty of people to take care of their child. "You're right, Mom," she said, "thank you, very much."

"How's she doing?" Speed asked, three days after Trixie's meltdown in the kitchen. She'd spent the night in the guest room, Pops had insisted that she needed a night alone to rest peacefully, but it was already past noon and she hadn't woken up yet. Mom was just emerging with a damp cloth that she was going to heat up again and take back to the girl in the bedroom.

"She's going to be just fine, Speed," Mom promised, "just leave her be."

"I want to see her, I want to tell her that I love her, I-"

"Leave her be," his mother repeated, more sternly.

A moan erupted from behind the closed door and Speed went to help, but Mom blocked him, giving her son a meaningful look. However, Trixie's next moan was an obvious cry for her husband and Mom had no intentions of tearing Trixie from what she desired. She moved out of the way and whispered to Speed, "you get five minutes."

"Thanks, Mom," he slipped into the bedroom and slunk silently to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. "Hey Trix," he said quietly, taking her hand, "how are you?"

"I've been much better, Speed, but I'm doing okay now, I think." She gave him a half smile, it was all she could manage. "I'm not throwing up as much anymore," there was a pause, then she begged, "they're not going to make spend another night in here, are they?"

"Do you want to come sleep with me, again?"

"That's why we bought the double bed," she countered, frowning.

"You'll have to tell Mom, she seems to think we need separation."

"But, I need you," she gasped, "now more than ever."

He reached out and cupped her face in his hands, "I know, baby. You have to remind Mom what it's like to be pregnant; she hasn't been in ten years." He smiled and so did Trixie.

"You're doing great, Mrs. Racer," the doctor said, tapping his pen on this clipboard, which he had between his wrist and his hip. He smiled at the couple and nodded once, "you're coming along very nicely. I hear you're morning sickness has gone down and you're getting used to the exhaustion." He touched her stomach, "four months along now, wonderful. You're the perfect size for it," he smiled as he said goodbye and left the room.

"I've got to use the bathroom," Trixie told Speed as he helped her off the examination table, her hand in his as he held her arm, her other on her stomach, as it had come to often rest. He nodded, "I'll meet you in the car?" she offered.

"Are you sure you won't need my help?" he asked, frowning. He hated leaving her alone like this, but she nodded.

"I should be fine, but I get into trouble, I'll ask one of the nurses to help." Speed was still hesitant, but Trixie's insistence to be independent drove him to leave and get the car started.

"I'll bring it around to the front, Trix," he said, kissing her on the cheek, "love you."

"Love you too," she replied as she waddled off to the bathroom.

"I see you're bearing a Racer child," said a voice to her left as she exited the bathroom, trying to wipe her wet hands on her pants. She looked over to see Rex Racer standing there, she groaned and wished she'd asked Speed to wait outside the door, rather than outside the building.

"When will you just disappear?" she growled, trying to walk away, but she stumbled and he was there to catch her. She tore her arm away from his fingers, glaring at him. "What do you want?"

He opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, then he shook his head. "I wanted to apologize, actually. It was wrong of me to do what I did on your wedding day."

"Yeah, you think."

"But I do still love you, but I see how in love the two of you are. And look at what you're doing to yourself, for him." He shook his head, "that's true love right there," he reached out his hand, "might I feel the little one kick?"

She almost said no, but he had, for once, asked permission to touch her and she sighed before nodding and allowing him to advance. After a moment, a little foot hit the side of her stomach and Rex marveled for a moment, before their eyes met. "Thank you," he said, "I hope, one day, we can be friends."

Trixie nodded, "perhaps," but she didn't offer any intonation that would inspire him to hold onto the dream. "Have a nice day, X," she said, "I'd ask you to help outside, but I don't think Speed would like that very much, besides, I'm not sure I forgive you yet."

"I admit I've given you a lot of grief, Trixie. I truly am sorry."

"We'll see, X, we'll see."

"Please, call me Rex."

"I don't think so," she said, as she went into the waiting room. "Goodbye."


	13. Chapter 13: Final Car

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 13: Final Car**

Two months, roughly, until the first of the next generation of Racer children was born. The Racer household was very lively all the time, as everyone was preparing for the arrival of the baby boy. The guest room had been transformed into a nursery, there was an expensive crib in place of the twin bed that had been there, the walls painted orange, and family photos framed on the wall.

Trixie had spent many hours in the nursery painting racecars along the wall. This is where she was when the doorbell rang. She expected someone else to get it as she quickly wiped the wet paint she'd thrown across the wall when she'd jumped at the sound. It had been so quiet in the house. When the doorbell rang again a look of irritation crossed her face as she slowly got up from her chair and set her paintbrush in the water bowl. When the doorbell rang a third time, she hollered, "I'm comin'. Hold your horses."

She threw open the door and glared at whoever would be standing there. _Of course_, she said to herself. "Hello X," she said, shifting her weight onto her left foot, one hand on the small of her back, the other holding onto the door for support. Her hair was rather messy, the only think she'd done to comb it lately was run her fingers through it, and her eyes were a bit droopy and didn't hold the same luster they once had, as well as the deep purple half circles under them. Her mouth was not in its strong, natural smile, but was, instead, a hard line that made her look like she was in pain.

Racer X frowned at her when he looked her over and realized her condition was not at its greatest. He cleared his throat, "you're home alone?" Trixie almost closed the door, but, if anything, Racer X looked uncomfortable. She nodded and he blew out his breath, "they shouldn't do that," he pointed at her stomach, "what if something happened?"

"I trust that nothing will happen to me in the twenty minutes they're gone."

"You can't know that," he insisted, giving her a serious look. "Can I at least stay and watch over you until someone gets home."

"Don't you do that when people **are** home?"

He swallowed, "that's a bit different," he said, "but, I haven't seen you since that day at the hospital, I promise." He put up his right hand, _scout's honor. _Trixie remembered the day she'd promised him something with scout's honor. She sucked in her bottom lip and tried not to let the tear escape.

"Okay, just until someone gets home."

The look Racer X gave Trixie was thankful and adoring all at the same time, it made Trixie wonder what she'd ever done that made Racer X love her the way he did. She had to admit, he was much better, now that she was married, about behaving properly, being her brother-in-law and all. She returned to the nursery and settled into her chair, picking up her paintbrush and dipping it in the black paint before detailing the Augury she'd been painting on the wall when Racer X had rung the doorbell. Suddenly, she felt embarrassed that Racer X was there, because she'd never thought he'd see her paintings. She bit her lip and tried to pretend she didn't notice his presence.

He stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and watching her with a mixture of curiosity and amazement. When he saw her cheeks darken a shade he chuckled and she tossed him a glare, to which he replied, "so you don't hate me as much as you lead me to believe." He sounded relieved by that and Trixie watched in wonder as he relaxed under her gaze.

"I just think you have a nice car," she said, turning her head back to the painting.

"Oh yeah?" he walked over the row of cars she'd already painted over the course of a month, "what about this one?" he asked, putting his finger on the Shooting Star.

She sucked in through her nose and nodded, "that one's pretty too."

Racer X threw back his head and laughed and the sound of it lifted Trixie's heart a little, because she could tell he hadn't laughed like that in a while and she hadn't heard a real laugh in months. She smiled on one side of her mouth, but tried not to let Racer X see it. She swallowed after a moment and finished up the car by drawing the wheels. She sat back to admire her handiwork and, with a grunt of satisfaction, scooted her chair over to draw another car. Racer X was standing behind her now, admiring her handiwork too. "Hmm," he said after a moment and Trixie lifted her head in confusion.

"What?"

He leaned over the back of the chair and pointed at the car she'd just painted, his car. "It's a little off center right here," he teased.

"Oh, you!" Trixie said, pointing her paintbrush at him threatening. He chuckled and spread his arms as if to say _do your worst_. With a small smile she returned to drawing yet another car along the wall, this one the Mach 4.

"You sure do like my cars, don't you, Trixie?" Racer X said, smirking.

Trixie growled, she'd forgotten it had been his racecar. Frowning, she turned to face him, "are you here to watch over me, or to bother me?"

He put up his hands in defeat, "you're right. I'm sorry," he stepped back and resumed his position in the doorway.

Ten minutes later, the sound of the backdoor opening put them both on alert. They'd spent those minutes tossing jokes back and forth and, at one point, Racer X had actually helped Trixie with a detail on his old car. They looked at each other, frightened for a moment, before Racer X turned to leave and Trixie caught his arm. She used the appendage in her hand to help her out of her chair, which she then waddled around. She surprised them both as she embraced Racer X. "Thank you," she said softly, then stepped back and whispered, "go." He smiled lightly and then he was gone.

"Trixie?"

"Speed!"

Trixie was so excited that he was home she ran, as fast as she could, of course, to meet him in the kitchen. It saddened her that he couldn't pick her up and twirl her around and kiss her mid-air, but she knew that soon he'd be able to again.

It was the final car, Trixie was so proud of herself. She'd finished the whole line of cars in just three months. Speed was in the kitchen and she stood to call for him to come and see when something in her abdomen seared with pain. When she opened her mouth to call for Speed, only a heart-wrenching scream erupted and she fell from her chair, clutching her stomach.

Speed got there first, but he didn't know what do, Mom got there next, followed by Spritle and Chim-Chim, but Mom was quicker than anyone had seen her in years. She slapped Speed's hands out of the way and helped Trixie to her feet, with some difficulty. "Speed, get your father to start the car, Spritle get me a wet washcloth, quickly! Trixie's water broke."

Chaos.


	14. Chapter 14: X

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 14: X**

"Mr. Racer?" the doctor said, wringing his hands as he came into the waiting room, where Speed, Pops, Spritle, and Chim-Chim had been waiting rather impatiently for Trixie to have the baby. The people at the hospital refused to let Speed go into the delivery room with his wife, even though she reached for him the whole way down the hallway, moaning 'Speed, Speed.'

"Is she okay?" Speed said, stepping forward urgently, his eyes full of concern for Trixie. He felt so helpless, though the look of terror on her face as she'd turned the corner had frightened him and made him worry about her even more.

The doctor chuckled a little, nodding. His calm demeanor pissed Speed off a little, but he wanted to see Trixie, so he was going to do his best to stay on this man's good side. He hated the thought that this doctor had just seen all of Trixie, as he helped her have the baby. "She is perfectly fine, everything went great," he motioned with his hand, "would you like to see your son?" Speed needed no prompting, he was off in a flash down the hallway, finding her room just fine and coming to a halt beside his mother.

"Hey Speed," Trixie said, smiling a little, but she looked very tired and sweat beaded over her face. Her eyes were just as droopy as they had been for a month and a half and it nearly broke Speed's heart.

"Hey Trix," he gave her his three teeth smile and she seemed to glow at his response. She held the little bundle in her arms out to him and he stepped to the side of the bed, reaching out for the next generation of Racers. As he shifted, the baby made a sound, but it didn't start to cry.

Trixie wiggled her finger at their child and she whispered, "say hi to daddy, sweetie, say hi to daddy." Speed couldn't help but smile at that, because as afraid as he was, he liked the sound of _daddy_.

"You want to call him what!" Trixie was still in the hospital room, as the baby wasn't ready to go home yet and Speed had pulled a soft chair up to the side of the bed, holding her hand. Trixie's request had him surprised and a little hurt, his fingers slid from hers and he stood up, shrinking away from her.

"Oh Speed," Trixie said, a sad look crossing her face, "he's not such a bad guy."

"Who **are** you?"

"What are you talking about, Speed? Babe…it was just a suggestion."

"Why would you even-"

"Excuse me?" a nurse peeked her head in, frowning, "please keep it down," Speed grimaced, but the nurse had more to say, "Mrs. Racer, you have a visitor. He says he's a friend, shall I let him in."

Trixie nodded, anything to get herself out of the mess she'd gotten herself into. Speed scoffed and sat down in a wooden chair in the corner. Crossing his arms, he glared at the old television that was mounted to the wall. Soon enough, the door opened again and Trixie was so surprised that she momentarily forgot that Speed was angry with her. The coincidence of this arrival sparked Speed's anger and he growled, standing up and balling his fists.

"What are _**you **_doing here?" he said through clenched teeth, making Trixie sigh. She had to admit, the question was a fair one, and she was curious herself.

Racer X seemed to agree, his mouth a hard line. "I heard Trixie was in the hospital, I came to see if she was alright." Trixie gave him a soft smile, to show she appreciated his concern, but the smile only drove Speed to stomp from the room, ruining Trixie's mood all over again. "**Are** you alright?" he asked, moving to sit in the chair beside her bed. She'd never seen Racer X so relaxed, even when they'd spent those afternoons in the nursery. She nodded, lost for words. That made him chuckle and he nodded, taking off his mask. She already knew the truth, why make himself miserable with the heat?

It was then that Trixie noticed something very different about Racer X, she drug her gaze from his face, down his neck, to his chest, down to his legs and feet. When she met his gaze again, she raised an eyebrow at him and his face broke out in a grin. Trixie nearly crumbled under the weight of his amusement, because, even after all these years, he smiled the exact same. Eleven years, it had been, since she'd seen Rex smile; nothing had changed. She couldn't help but smile back, his happiness was intoxicating. "What's got you so happy?"

"You seem so much better already," he said, "you've been so down, I felt terrible every time I looked at you," he frowned at her, "but now that it's over…congratulations, by the way," she nodded and mouthed a 'thank you' so that he would continue. "But now," he motioned toward her, "you look so happy." He shook his head, looking down at his hands, which he had lying in front of him on the side of the bed, "I'm so sorry that I ever tried to intervene-"

Trixie reached out and put her pale hand over top of Racer X's and shook her head, "don't worry about it," he looked up at her, his eyes flaring with a mix of respect and surprise, "Speed will forgive you in time and I'm not angry anymore." How could he not know that she wanted nothing more than to be friends with him? "I told Speed that I wanted to name the baby X."

Racer X jumped at her words, his hand slipping from under hers and Trixie sighed. What was it with Racer boys and pulling away from her today? "Why would you do that?"

She shrugged, "because I want to," she let the _duh_ tone into her voice. "Is that okay?"

"Speed didn't seem happy…"

"I'm not asking Speed, I'm asking you."

"I…I would be honored," he said, replacing his hand, though this time it landed on top of hers. Trixie closed her eyes and shifted, she missed her son and she wished the doctors would bring him back soon.

"Then I'll convince Speed…but you have to make amends with him."

"Shouldn't I wait for him to be ready?"

Trixie shook her head, "he'll never be ready if you hold back."

He nodded, "you're right. I'll talk to him," he stood, "thank you, Trixie," he leaned down and softly kissed her forehead before leaving the room. As he left, she stared at his jeans, then frowned and realized she'd never asked why his outfit was different today. She had never seen him in anything but his black X racing outfit. Today he had on a loose, white t-shirt, a silver chain necklace, slightly baggy jeans, and high top tennis shoes. Weird…when had he become so comfortable with her? Was it wrong that it didn't bother her?

"Welcome home, X," Trixie whispered to her sleeping child as they stepped in the backdoor. She could not take him to the nursery yet, as the fumes of paint were still rather prominent. Mom had her sit on the couch and hold her son close, so he was comfortable and warm.

"I'll go spray the room, dear," she said, running off, proud to be a grandmother. Trixie smiled after her, but she was distracted when someone sat beside her on the couch. She turned and found Speed sitting very close, she smiled at him and he half-smiled back. There was something about him that frightened her and she hugged X closer, though he wouldn't be able to protect her. She didn't believe Speed would be violent, but she was worried he would shout.

"What?" she whispered, concern coloring her tone.

"Why?"

"Why _what_?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Why X?"

"Because…I wanted to name him after someone in the family," it was the truth, but she didn't know how much it would hurt her husband. Mom had not asked questions, it was not her place to decide what Trixie and Speed named their kid. Speed flinched, but he nodded and said nothing more on the topic. Instead, he asked to hold him. Speed was gentle with the baby and it brought tears to her eyes to see what was happening here. She could only hope that the baby wouldn't change Speed as a person.


	15. Chapter 15: Good Morning, Rex

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 15: Good Morning, Rex**

It took two days for the Racer family to get X settled in and on the third morning Trixie awoke to the sound of him crying. She checked the clock and groaned softly, as not to wake Speed. She dragged herself out of bed and rushed down the hallway to the nursery.

"It's three in the morning, X. What are you doing up?" her eyes were half closed as she closed the door behind her. The crying had stopped and she was thankful for that, but she had to open her eyes at the respond she got from her question.

"I couldn't sleep. I wanted to see my nephew."

"Not you, X…him, X," she pointed to the baby, who she now realized was in Racer X's arms. He looked comfortable there, he'd already gone back to sleep. She smiled at the sight of it, it was just as wonderful as when Speed had held the baby. She lip quivered as she yawned.

"Thank you, for getting him to stop crying," she said, "are you the reason I got a full night's sleep last night?" Racer X's smile at her question confirmed he had been here then too. "You know, if you want to see him-all you have to do is call." Not that she had a problem with him staying here to keep the baby asleep. "You need rest too. I'm not going to forbid you from coming-since you so obviously want to be here-but I still think you should sleep."

"Do you mean that? I can see him whenever I want?" his whole face lit up at the prospect. He was in similar clothes than he had been at the hospital and Trixie took now to ask him about it.

"What's with the new style?"

"I'm going to tell Mom and Pops."

"You-" Trixie couldn't believe what she was hearing. "But…what about…" she frowned, "just Mom and Pops?"

"Of course; they deserve to know the truth," he looked down at X and Trixie had to comment.

"You just want to right to see him whenever you like."

"That's part of it, yes," he sighed.

Trixie felt bad that he seemed to think she meant that she'd changed her mind. She reached out and touched his cheek, making him look up at her. "I think it's a wonderful thing, what you're going to do. X is going to love you, just like I do." She smiled at him, "now, I'm tired." She turned to leave, "oh," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Stay as long as you like," she smiled, "I'll get up early to make sure you didn't fall asleep in here. It would be a horrible way to have to tell the truth if Mom or Pops…or even Spritle found you in here."

He nodded, "thank you, Trixie. Good night."

She laughed, "good morning, Rex," and she left.


	16. Chapter 16: Secret

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 16: Secret**

"You're up early," Mom commented as she came into the kitchen to start breakfast, only to find Trixie sitting at the table sipping coffee.

Trixie smiled back, the bright red of her lipstick glinting in the sunlight that was beginning to stream in through the windows. "X was crying," she said. It was the truth, it just wasn't **exactly **the reason she was up at the moment. "I got him to go back to sleep," she took another sip of coffee.

Mom felt that there was something else going on here, but she was almost positive that Trixie had done nothing wrong; she trusted her daughter-in-law with all her heart. She pulled out pans and a spatula and Trixie stood up and offered to help make the pancakes, since she had at least an hour before Speed woke up. It was an odd silence that neither of them were used to and they both seemed to un-tense and silently let out a held breath when they heard the bedroom door open and Pops came into the kitchen.

"Trixie," Pops said, surprised, as he sat down at the table. "You're up early."

Trixie laughed, "X was crying, you didn't hear him?"

Pops pointed at his ear, "I don't hear as well as I used to." The three of them chuckled, but there was something off and Trixie swallowed and excused herself to the bathroom where she felt like throwing up as she leaned the heels of her hands on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was everywhere and he face showed that she was worried about something. She could play it off as lack of sleep from X, but for how long? Trixie had never been a good liar and she hated to think she had to start now.

"When, Rex?" she whispered, despising her reflection and looking away. "How long do I have to keep quiet for you?" She flushed the toilet and threw up the faucet, letting the water rush down the drain. Angry with herself, she shut off the water and left the bathroom, but she ran into Speed as she turned the corner into the hallway. "Oh, Speed," she smiled up at him, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Hey," she exhaled, like she always did in the morning.

Speed wasn't stupid and, though he smiled back, he gave her a look that told her she needed to set herself straight. She sighed and tried to sidle past him, but he did something he'd never done-he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She was awestruck and the look on her face was a mixture of hurt and surprise. He realized his mistake immediately and let her go. She rushed down the hallway and slipped into the nursery.

"Hey X!" she said, smiling happily and throwing her arms out at her sides when she realized the baby was already awake. X mirrored her movement and it was so cute that for a minute Trixie forgot about all the troubles she was feeling inside. As she picked him up she heard the door open and she turned to see who it was, a look of curiosity on her face.

"Trixie, dear?" Mom said as she closed the door behind her, a look of concern on her face.

"Yeah, Mom?" she bounced X on her hip as she stood there, feeling as though she was about to be interrogated.

"Are you alright?"

"What? Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm fine. A little tired, but I'm fine. Why?" She was a little worried that her rambling would be the giveaway. She wasn't wrong.

Mom gave her a look that she couldn't place, but it wasn't anger and it wasn't impatience. "Trixie," her voice sounded more maternal than usual and Trixie couldn't be upset with this woman because she knew that this was all because Mom cared. "What are hiding?"

"Nothing," even Trixie could hear the farce in her voice. She sighed and shifted X to her other hip. "I have to feed him," she said, going to leave. "Don't worry Mom, it's just not my secret to tell."

Mom and Trixie were cleaning up lunch when the doorbell rang. Spritle and Chim-Chim got to the door first, though Pops was moving, much more slowly, toward the front room. "What are you doing here?" Pops' booming voice echoed back to the kitchen, he sounded angry and that sent the women to go see what was happening. The loud question had sent X into a crying fit and Trixie picked him up on her way into the living room.

"Ah, just the person I wanted to see," the man smiled, spreading his arms out as if he was about to hug someone, though he was still on the stoop. The man was in slightly baggy blue jeans, a slightly dirty wifebeater, a silver chain necklace, and a pair of high top sneakers.

"Who are you?" Mom asked, confused, because she seemed to be the one person who didn't know who this was. Spritle was also unknowing, but he was suspicious as always, especially with the way Pops was glaring at the man in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Trixie asked, genuinely curious. He couldn't possibly mean to just **tell them**, could he? X reached out, making a baby sound, toward the man and Trixie shifted him up on her hip again, not taking her eyes off of the man in the doorway.

"May I?" he asked, holding his arms out in a question as to whether or not he could hold X. Trixie pressed her lips together for a second before she nodded hesitantly and handed over the baby as Rex stepped into the house and took him. Speed was being rather quiet and when Trixie reached out to touch his arm he pulled away, looking angry and hurt, Trixie returned the look of hurt, but she hoped it would all soon be sorted out.

As Rex took hold of the baby, Pops and Spritle both took a step toward him, but Trixie was quick to protect him, though she didn't need to. Rex was already on top of things, "I'm just here to see my nephew." This was a lie, but it was segway into why he was really here.

"Your nephew? I-" Mom started, but then she gasped and sat down on one of the chairs before she had the chance to collapse. "You can't mean…"

"Mom," Pops said, "maybe you should go into the-"

"No, Pops," Rex said, holding X closer, "I'm here for this."

"Re-" Trixie started, but Rex held up his free hand to silence her.

"I have intervened in enough of your life, Trixie," he said, looking her in the eye with the most apologetic look she had ever seen in her life. "It's about to time I faced things on my own." He turned to Speed, "I want to apologize to you first, because if I address the whole family first you will listen to nothing I say because you're angry." He nodded, "and I understand there-you have very fair reason to be. I left you, I lied to you, I tried to steal what you love…I'm sorry, Speed, so very sorry."

Speed grunted, but his gaze fell on Trixie for a split second and she knew that he would at least listen to what else he had to say. "Mom, I hurt you and Pops and Speed and even Trixie. I lied to the world, but it only matters that I lied to all of you. Pops, I was rude to you and I was disrespectful. Spritle," he turned to his littlest brother, the one he'd never known, "I'm sorry that I never got to be your older brother." He looked around at all of them, even glanced down at X. "If you don't want me back in your life, then I won't push myself on you. But Trixie and I are friends and X is my nephew and I want to be part of his life."

Mom reached out, standing up, making Pops set himself into a defensive posture, instead of an offensive one. She wanted to hug her son, the one she'd thought she'd lost, but he was holding her grandson. Trixie saw this and she leapt in and scooped X from his uncle's arms, giving her brother-in-law a reassuring smile. When she returned to Speed's side, her husband had calmed down and he hugged Trixie from the side, rubbing X's head and smiling at his son. Mom hugged Rex and it seemed as though she wouldn't let go. "I lost you once, I won't lose you again."

Rex hugged her back, closing his eyes, and Trixie could see his whole body relaxed. She couldn't help but smile as she watched the moment she'd been waiting to see for a very long time. She leaned her head on Speed's shoulder and smiled at the child the two of them had brought into this world. Speed wrapped his arm around her and they enjoyed the return of Rex together.


	17. Chapter 17: To Solve Nothing

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 17: To Solve Nothing**

_**[I'm so sorry guys, I know it's been way to long. My friend Haylee has inspired to me to finish this story though. :) So give her your thanks.]**_

Trixie volunteered to build a room for Rex off of the kitchen. Rex volunteered to sleep on the couch for as long as it took, though he said he would, of course, help with the room. Speed was reluctant at first, but he agreed to help as well, making Sparky content to aid them in the construction. Spritle and Chim-Chim followed suit after Pops, too, joined the bandwagon. Mom had thought it was a great idea from the start.

Trixie didn't tell Rex that if he became Rex to the Racer family again, he'd have to become Rex to everyone. Because she didn't let that tension get between them, she and Rex quickly fell into their friendly nook, happy they didn't have to hide it anymore, they flitted around, though Trixie was still slower than usual, and laughed and joked and carried on. On their first day of their gallivanting, Speed seemed angry with their connection, but when he saw how happy Rex made Trixie, without that in love glow on her face, he relaxed and actually joined in some of the skipping around.

On the seventh day of Rex's return things had become pretty comfortable in the house. There was still those lost years floating about and the pain and the blame, but the Racer family was carefully putting it aside. Trixie was measuring metal and wood, marking things here and there so she wouldn't have to measure again, when Rex swooped in behind her and picked her up, spinning around. She cried out at the surprise, but then the shout became laughter and the two of them were giggling away, off in their own private world where it was okay to be this close and be just friends. He set her back down where she'd been and cleared his throat, placing the sharpie back in her hand and standing up straight, "excuse me, Mrs." he said, acting like a stiff, 'honorable' gentlemen, making Trixie giggle again, "for my interference with your work."

She played along, curtsying, "oh no, Mizur," she said, speaking in an odd accent, "that is quite alright." Grinning, Rex bowed deep and straight backed, then turned as he stood up straight and left the makings-of-his-room.

Life went normally, as normal for the Racer family as it could be, anyway, for another three months. The room was nearly done and Trixie was just adding the last coat of paint when Speed came storming in. She felt the anger radiating from him before she even turned and saw his face. She swallowed and set the brush down.

"When are you going to quit letting him flirt with you?"

Exhausted, Trixie slumped, rolling her eyes. "Speed Racer," she sounded like she was scolding a child, "when are you going to get over that Rex and I are good friends?"

"I don't care about that, Trix. It's the way he looks at you, the way he touches you, the way he glares at me when I touch your butt or kiss your cheek when you walk by, the way his eyes follow you to the bedroom..."

Trixie had noticed these things, yet had let herself act as if she hadn't. She opened her mouth to speak, only to find she could think of nothing to say. Just then, though, X cried, saving her from having to work with the situation. Feeling guilty, she pointed out of the room, "I should go...you know, feed him. I'm sure he's hungry." As she left she could have sworn Speed mumbled something about X and nipples.

–

"Of course Speed is upset-he has to share you."

"Aunt Annie, I just want them to get along. They're brothers for goodness sake!"

Annie shrugged, "I don't know, sweetie. But I'm so glad you brought X over here. He's a cutie. I wish I could spend more time with him."

Trixie looked guilty, "I'm sorry I haven't been over much."

Annie dismissed her apology with a wave of her hand, "you're married now, girl. You live in the Racer household-where you belong."

Where she belonged. That felt so true. But lately she'd felt like it was unfair of her to be so happy, when Rex was scrabbling for his brother's love and Speed was almost always angry with them. Annie seemed to think it would blow over, Trixie just needed to set more boundaries with Rex and maybe not spend so much time with him. Trixie felt like that was partial to Speed, then again, he **was** her husband.

She left a couple hours later with nothing solved. This would have to just blow over with time. Until then, she would try her best not to laugh too loud or joke too much with Rex. She hated having to sacrifice their closeness because he had to go and love her. Cursing internally, she strapped X into his car seat and drove home. Home...she wished it felt as warm as it always had.


	18. Chapter 18: For Love and Dishonor

**Speed Racer**

**Chapter 18: ****For Love and Dishonor**

For months, Trixie and Rex's friendship grew. Sometimes, Speed would see Rex's hand on the small of Trixie's back, or on her shoulder. Sometimes she touched his arm. Speed was more than jealous, but he could tell that Trixie was not doing this on purpose. Her eyes did not twinkle with love, not like they did for Speed. She never looked at Rex as if he held the world, or as if he was the only there. Late at night, in his room, she looked at Speed that way. It was those nights that helped Speed get through the days Trixie spent with Rex.

Everyone spent time with Rex. Mom and Rex cooked together, Pops and Rex worked on cars together, Speed even went to the track with him. Speed had missed his older brother more than he'd thought, but there was always that simmering of jealousy deep in his gut. One day, when he and Rex were at the track, he decided to talk to Rex about Trixie when they took a break for lunch. After three bites of his sandwich he leaned back in his chair and started with the ever intelligent, "so, Rex."

"Hm?" Rex's mouth was full of his own sandwich, but he swallowed quickly and looked up at his little brother. Speed had grown up so well, he was handsome and smart and a wonderful driver. And he had a smokin' hot wife.

"You and Trix are pretty tight, huh?"

Uh oh. "Yeah, but, Speed, there's nothing going on…" he scratched his head, like people do when they're getting uncomfortable. "I feel awful about how I acted, it was wrong of me. I wish it hadn't happened, even if only so you would trust me."

Speed sighed, "I trust Trixie."

Rex's sigh sounded eerily like Speed's, "Speed…"

"Rex," Speed's voice had an edge of chill. "I love you, but she's my wife. She's been mine for years. If you try to take her from me, I might forget you're my brother just long enough for it to be too late. And I think Trixie would hate me for it, so I really hope you don't bring me to that." He stood up, "I'm trying really hard to let you guys be good friends, but I can't help that it bothers me that you touch her the way you do."

Rex just shook his head, unsure of what to say. Speed let it drop; he didn't know what else he could say without sounding like a complete ass.

They finshed their lunch in silence.

"Speed?" Trixie peeked into his room, baby on her hip.

"Hey, Trix."

"You okay?" she came in and sat down on the bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a minute."

"For what?"

The baby gurgled and flailed. Trixie bounced him on her knee.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Speed…I know you're mad at Rex."

He stopped, ran a hand through his hair, and sighed for possibly the millionth time that week. "I'm not _mad_."

"Right…you're upset with him. Sorry. But, Speed." She set the child on the bed, handed him his toy, and stood up to cross the room. When she reached Speed, she wrapped her arms around him lovingly. "Sweetie, I love **you**. Remember? I married **you**. I love Rex, but I'm in love with you. You have to know that."

"I do. I just don't like the way he touches you."

It was Trixie's turn to sigh, "I wish he wouldn't do that either, I know it upsets you. He doesn't mean anything by it." She lifted the baby again, "who's his daddy, babe?"

Half-heartedly, Speed mumbled, "I am."

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Me. I'm his daddy."

"That's right. Not Rex. Because that's how I want it."

"Okay."

"Speed…I love you."

"I know, I love you too, Trix."

"Good," she kissed his forehead, his lips. "Mom said dinner will be ready soon."

"I'll be out in a second." With a nod, she left to go feed X before she ate herself.

It was so quiet, Trixie could have fallen asleep. She opened her eyes to the starry night, shifting her arm so it was under her head instead of her neck. With a heavy exhale, she thought about her life. There was nothing she would change, except for the way Speed felt about his brother and her. Trixie didn't think of Rex that way at all, he was, quite simply, her favorite brother. She hardly ever thought about the time when she was the only one who knew the truth, when Rex had been frightening and pushy. He wasn't that person anymore and Trixie found that she forgave him wholeheartedly. She wished Speed would too. Couldn't he see that Rex made her happy? True, Speed did that too, in a different way. His whole family made her happy. Why couldn't Rex be part of that?

Just as her thoughts drifted to how Rex might feel about her, she heard two seconds before she felt, someone come up onto the roof to join her. She turned to see none other than Rex Racer stepping over shingles to come lay next to her.

"Hey," they said at the same time as he settled.

With a little laugh, they looked at each other. Rex grinned at her and she found herself smiling back. Something twitched in Rex's stomach and he looked away, scared. He could see Trixie's concerned expression in his peripheral and he cleared his throat. "Sorry, thought I was going to sneeze."

She looked like she almost bought it, but she didn't confront him on his lie. The peaceful silence was gone and Trixie was only slightly upset about it. "Did you need something?" she asked, trying not to sound mean.

He looked surprised, but shook his head. "Just came up here to see how you were doing. I asked Speed if you were okay and he seemed honest when he said he didn't think there was anything wrong. I just wanted to make sure." He smiled at her again.

This time she didn't smile back. This was due to that fact that she was facing the sky, eyes closed, with the wind making strands of hair dance around her cheeks. She was so beautiful it hurt him to look at her, especially since she wasn't his. He reminded himself that her husband was his _brother_ and that they had a kid together. Not to mention that Trixie was so deep in love with Speed she would be crushed to be without him. He wondered if it was her feelings about Speed that kept him from trying to steal her, not just that Speed was his brother. He sighed without meaning to.

Trixie's eyes snapped open and she looked at him, completely serious. "What's wrong?" She was so intensely worried that Rex didn't know if he should laugh or…

He leaned forward slowly and they both stopped breathing. His lips brushed hers and as they did he forgot everything he'd been worrying about and he pushed forward. At first Trixie responded positively, he felt so much like Speed she almost forgot it wasn't him. Almost. She leapt back, grabbing a shingle to keep from sliding down the roof. "Rex," she whispered breathlessly.

"Trixie," his voice was much the same. He reached for her, "Trixie, I-"

She shook her head, "oh, Rex," her eyes gleamed with tears and spilled over. He wanted to comfort her, but he was afraid she would push him away. Swallowing his selfish fear, he scooted closer, surprised to find that she met him halfway, burying her head in his chest. His arms enveloped her and his lips rested what he hoped was comfortingly on the top of her head. The sound of a door opening and closing made them both sit up straight.

"Trixie?"

"Speed," her voice was so soft. Rex barely heard her. She looked up at him, wide-eyed. Rex silently begged her not to tell his brother what had happened. Her head bobbed minutely as Speed came up the ladder. "Yeah, babe?" her voice cracked.

"Are you alright?" his head appeared, his expression turning from concern to anger when he saw Rex sitting beside a teary-eyed Trixie. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't-" Rex started to say as Trixie shook her head and said, "It wasn't-"

They both slipped and looked at each other. In a different situation, they might have laughed. However, Speed was looking at them quite expectantly.

"Speed," Trixie said, touching his arm, "I was upset about how you've been feeling and Rex," she swallowed, his name sitting funny on his tongue as she thought of the last time she'd spoken his name, "was just comforting me, like good _brothers_ do." She stressed the word brother to remind Speed that she loved Rex like family.

"I'm upsetting you that much?" he looked pained.

"I don't like seeing you unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy."

"You're unhappy with me," Rex jumped in.

"I just don't think your affection toward my wife is appropriate." His tone darkened as he said 'my wife,' as if those words were the most important part of his statement.

"I'm sorry, brother," Rex wanted so badly to get along with Speed. It nearly killed Trixie to see his desperation and Speed's apathy toward his brother's feelings.

"Don't call me brother like you're looking out for me. You left me, you let me think you were dead, you lied to my face when I confronted you about your identity, you tried to steal and _rape _Trixie, and now you spend all your time either talking to or thinking about her. Oh, yeah, you're the _best brother __**ever**_!" He had been shouting for some time now, his voice rising with each wound he addressed.

"I did what I had to do when I faked my death. I was trying to protect you! As for Trixie, she's forgiven me for my reckless attempts, so why can't you? She loves me as she says she does, as a brother and a friend and-"

"When will you just be honest!" Speed screamed, "is it that you're lying to yourself?"

Rex tried to look confused, but he was so upset by the situation he couldn't even pretend.

Eyes flashing in triumph, Speed nodded, "mhm. I didn't think so."

"I can't help how I feel," Rex countered, "but that doesn't mean I'll act on my feelings," _ever again_. He didn't believe that, but he tried to make it a truth in his mind.

Trixie pressed her lips together, eyes downcast. This was not going well. Thoughts churned in her head and she couldn't speak, not that she knew what to say. It was quiet for a long time and when Trixie looked up her eyes met Speed's. She didn't know what he read in them, but whatever it was made him angry all over again.

With a fist clenched, he leapt at Rex. "You bastard," he growled a moment before his fist collided with his Rex's jaw. Both Rex and Trixie were frozen in shock. Speed hit his brother again. And again.

He pulled back for a fourth punch, but Trixie jumped between them, shouting "stop it!'

Her distress shook Speed out of his angry frenzy. Only then did he feel the blood running over his fingers.

Though later she realized her mistake, she turned to Rex to check the damage. One of Speed's punches had hit his nose, which turned out to be the source of the blood. She looked up at Speed, disappointed by his violent, but with the feeling that it was she who had driven him to this. She took Rex by the arm with a "come on, let's get you cleaned up." She let Rex go down the ladder first, his nose dripping blood on the rungs and the ground below. Biting her bottom lip, she met her husband's gaze. "I'm sorry," was all she said before she disappeared down the side of the house.

Running his hand through his hair, Speed sat down. Why hadn't Rex fought back? He knew how; he was a better fighter than Speed. Why had he just stood there and let himself get hit? _You're his brother_, the wind seemed to say. He put his head in his hands. Of course, Rex would never hurt Speed, not on purpose.

"Damn it," he wanted to throw something. Was he a bad person for hitting his brother? Would Trixie be mad at him? He vaguely pictured the sad expression she had worn when she'd looked at him. No, she wasn't mad. But Speed knew his actions had affected her mood negatively. She didn't deserve to be sad. He would make it up to her.

"Oh!" Mom Racer began to fret the moment Rex and Trixie walked into the kitchen. "What happened?"

"It's nothing, Mom. I-"

"Nothing! You're bleeding!"

"Mom," Trixie said, calm in an almost creepy way. Her eyes were red-ringed from crying and her voice was fairly monotone. "He's fine. He got hit in the nose, he needs tissue." She turned her attention to Rex, "sit down. I'll be right back."

Lips pressed so thin they were white, Mom put her hand on Rex's head, forgetting he was thirty-eight for a minute.

Just as Mom opened her mouth, Speed walked in. he stopped for a split second and then continued on to his and Trixie's room, softly shutting the door. Trixie returned with a large wad of tissue as the door clicked closed. "Did he apologize?"

Rex lightly shook his head, slinging blood onto the table. Blood covered his lips and had also settled into the lines on his face, but he said, "he looked sad, though. Maybe he's finally realized what I've been trying to tell him all along."

Trixie looked at Mom after handing Rex the tissue. "You should go to bed, Mom. I think we're all tired and not sure how to react to the situation. Maybe we can all think more clearly after a good night's sleep." With hugs for Rex and Trixie given, Mom went off to bed. After wiping off the blood, Trixie sat on the table near Rex. After a minute or so of silence, she said, "you shouldn't have kissed me."

"I know." Silence. "I told myself not to. I don't know what happened."

"You thought with your heart and not your head," she sighed, "I can't be upset with you for that."

Rex pulled the tissue away, grabbed another. "I'm sorry that I'm making you go through this. You deserve the greatest happiness. You had that until I returned to my family."

"You can't blame yourself for wanting to be with your family." She reached out and touched his warm cheek with a cool hand. "Good night, Rex." Getting up off the table with the help of Rex's shoulder, she carefully opened the door to her's and Speed's bedroom and stepped inside.

Speed didn't move as Trixie shut the door and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she came back out he was sitting up, staring at her, He said nothing as she stepped out of her jeans. She heard the bed shift as she pulled her shirt over her head, but was still surprised to find Speed very close to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but her lips had barely parted before Speed's hands were on her cheeks and his mouth was over hers. He was very gentle, though he had moved quickly to kiss her.

His hands slid down over her shoulders, down her arms, then around her waist, pulling her closer. Her arms went around his neck as he continued his soft kisses. His mouth dropped down to her neck, changing the air in the room from loving to sensual. When she tilted her head back, he lifted her, carrying her to the bed. He set her gently on the pillows that cluttered their bed, pulling the straps of her bra down her arms before throwing it on the floor. Trixie realized he had unhooked it when he'd turned them toward the bed. He climbed on top of her, his mouth finding her breast easily, even in the dark. He knew every inch of her better than he knew himself. She arched toward him as he pulled away, desiring the heat of his body all over her. She helped him remove her underwear and anticipation made her skin prickle. If this was Speed apologizing for his attitude lately, she forgave him.


	19. Chapter 19: Decisions

**Speed Racer**

_**Warning: **_**Brief heavy language and a sexual instance. **

**This chapter rated "M."**

**Chapter 19: Decisions**

Trixie awoke to the sound of X crying. Rubbing away sleep, she drug herself out of bed, trying not to shake Speed, who had not been disturbed by the child, awake. She pulled on a nightgown she found on the floor and stepped out into the kitchen. It was just after dawn; no wonder she was groggy.

As she reached the nursery, X stopped crying. She almost didn't open the door, but she thought she should at least check on him. When her hand touched the door knob, the baby's cries returned, startling her. She opened the door to find X in Rex's arms. Rex looked very determined, yet very desperate. He jumped a little when he heard the door.

"Trixie. Oh. I…I was trying to catch him before he woke you."

"That's okay. As his mother, it's my job. Besides, I'm the only one who can quiet him."

Rex looked insulted, which made Trixie laugh and shake her head, "'cause he's hungry."

With crimson cheeks, Rex handed X to her. "I didn't know."

"Mother's intuition," Trixie said kindly as she dropped a strap of her nightgown. Crimson turned to maroon as she sat in the rocking chair, pulling her son to her breast. Rex inched toward the door, but Trixie frowned. "I'd rather you stayed, actually. I'm afraid I might fall asleep otherwise." She clutched X's head gently, to hold him steady.

"Oh," clearing his throat, he leaned against the wall.

"I'm sorry he woke you."

"That's alright, he didn't," his arms were crossed, but his face softened as he looked at the child.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

"I was in the study."

The conversation lapsed, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Trixie felt herself drifting and she jumped a little, scaring X. He started crying again, but Trixie shushed him and pet his head as she pulled him back to her.

"Sorry," Rex said, biting the inside of his lip, "I was supposed to be keeping you awake."

"That's okay, sometimes there's nothing to say." Wasn't that the truth? Again, silence fell. This time, though, Trixie didn't get dizzy and fight sleep, she and Rex were staring at each other, eyes locked.

"Rex, I-" Trixie said at the same time he said, "Trixie, I-" They both shut their mouths and brought their gaze to the floor.

"I know you don't mean to cause the things that ruin my day," Trixie said after a moment. She heard Rex sigh, something everyone was doing an awful lot of lately.

"Speed made love to you tonight."

For a moment Trixie was stunned by the blunt nature of his statement. She continued to look at the floor. "You heard that, huh?"

"I would not have if I hadn't been in the kitchen."

"What were you doing in the kitchen?"

"Standing outside your door, trying to talk myself into coming in to apologize…to-" he stopped and shook his head. "It was wrong of me to stay, but I couldn't leave. You make each other so happy…so"

This was inappropriate. Rex was talking about listening to her and Speed having sex! She didn't know how to make him stop talking, though. He seemed to realize that she didn't want to hear what he was saying. With a nod, he opened the door to leave.

Trixie stood up, holding tightly to X so that he wouldn't fall. "Don't go."

"I can't stay here with you anymore, Trixie."

"I didn't mean to upset you. Are you tired? Are you going to bed?" She started toward him.

Rex almost laughed as he shook his head. "I mean I can't stay _here_."

Trixie stopped mid-step, "you mean…you're leaving? Again?"

"I think it's best."

"But Speed is finally-"

"Speed will never be happy with me here as long as I love you."

Trixie didn't know what to say as Rex walked out the door, shutting it behind him. For a while she just stood there, staring at the wooden door, mouth half open. X pulled away from her and wiggled around until he pulled her out of her transfixion. She set him gently in his crib, pulled her nightgown back up and returned to her bed. Speed wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him, but he said nothing and soon they were both deeply asleep.

* * *

When Trixie sat across from Rex at breakfast the next morning, she tried to catch his eye to see if he was still planning on leaving and if she could talk him out of it, but he wouldn't look at her. In fact, it was almost as if she didn't exist. Speed seemed both confused and pleased with this turn of events. It was the quietest meal Trixie had ever experienced at the Racer house and she hated it.

She and Rex finished eating at approximately the same time and went to the sink together to clean their plates. She purposely stepped in front of him. Without looking at her straight-on, Rex said, "excuse me." He stepped around her and turned the water on, clearing the excess syrup from his plate. Then he set it in the sink and turned away to give Trixie access to the water. He returned to the table and looked around at his family members. When Trixie joined them again, Rex began to speak:

"Mom, Pops, Sparky, Spritle, Chim-Chim, Speed," his eyes rested of each of them as he said their names. He paused on Trixie, met her gaze full on and the intensity she saw there made her shiver with worry, "Trixie." Her name melted around her, the pain in Rex's voice enough to make her look down at her lap. "I have decided to move out."

Mom's fork clattered to the table, Pops' moustache twitched as his eyebrows knotted together. Before anyone else could react, Trixie stood up with an angry shove of her chair. "You son-of-a-bitch! You asshole! You no-good cowardly piece of shit!" Her face was red with anger. "I worked hard to make you a room of your own, I risked my marriage to be your best friend, your family has finally nearly mended from the hurt your 'death,'" her fingers clawed angry quotes in the air, "caused and now you're tearing the blanket out from under them again!" She threw her napkin at him. "You're a fuck, Rex Racer!" She turned on her heel then and strutted into her bedroom, slamming the door dramatically.

Once inside, she raced to the bathroom, throwing her head into her hands and letting out a sob as silently as she could. She would not allow Rex to hear her crying. She had meant everything she had said, but her initial anger had sapped all her energy and she was left with overwhelming sadness. How could he do this to her? To Speed? To the family?

The kitchen was silent for a very long time while everyone soaked in Trixie's outburst. Rex seemed to take it the hardest, looking near tears. He fought them, though, refusing to show weakness. He felt strongly about his decision and that it was the right one. When he had gotten ahold of himself, he looked around at the wide eyes of his family and stood. "I best go-"

"No," Speed stood too. "You've done enough." He went into the bedroom. "Trixie?" he shut the door behind him. "Trixie, hunny," he tried to turn the knob on the bathroom door, but she had locked herself inside. "Trixie, I'm here for you, let me in." He could hear her crying, but she didn't speak. Speed sighed. "Please. Open the door."

The sound of the shower turning on reached him. He tried the door again: still locked. He rested his head on it just as it was pulled open.

When he'd regained his balance, he looked up at a completely nude Trixie. Her eyes were burning red and some tears still ran down her cheeks, but her face was set in a hard expression. "What are you-" but suddenly she was there, kissing him harder than she'd ever kissed him before. She dug her nails into the back of his neck, holding him to her. He tried to pull away and she let him, but she attacked his shirt next, ripping it and over his head before he could protest. The shower water was set so hot that the bathroom was starting to fog. She pulled him into the room and shut the door with her foot, locking it as she shoved him against it.

"Trixie," he started as she unbuttoned his jeans, but she shot him a look and he shut up.

When his pants were gone, she was back to kissing him and this time Speed didn't argue or fight it. He kissed her too. He could tell foreplay was not on her mind and he could honestly say he understood how she was feeling. Sometimes, when strong emotions hit you, you just need a good, hard fuck.

He reached for the shower nozzle, turning the heat down so that they wouldn't burn themselves. Then, they were both beneath the heat of the water and Trixie seemed even more ready. She looked at him as she stood below the blast with a look he had never seen before. It was almost animal of her and when he tried to look closer, her brown eyes flashed dangerously and she reached for him, pulling him to her by his arm.

The water beat down hard, but Trixie didn't seem to notice. Speed maneuvered her to the ledge at the end of the shower, on which she knelt and turned away from him. He propped one foot up beside her and brought his penis to her entrance. He could feel her impatience as he leaned over her a little.

When he entered her, she brought her head back and he reached out and grabbed a handful of her hair. She moaned in a way she didn't often. Speed felt himself grow even more at the sound and was quickly pumping in and out of her. At one point, he was coming in so hard she had to fight not to hit her head on the wall. It hurt so good, though. He didn't stop, even when she whimpered without meaning to. She felt so…raw. She had never really released her emotions in this way, but she could feel her worries disappearing for the moment.

She still felt angry, but she couldn't quite reach why. She was lost in the beat of Speed's thrusts, which were making her dizzy. Just as the water started to cool, Speed moaned, making Trixie clench, and came. She could feel the warmth of his release inside of her and as he stepped away from her and she stood. They were both a little wobbly as Speed turned off the shower and they stepped out onto the cool tile. Speed pulled some towels out of the cupboard and Trixie wrapped herself in one and went into the bedroom. Her body was humming from the sex, but her brain was buzzing with terrible thoughts now that the intensity of the moment had passed. She threw herself onto the bed, still relatively wet, the towel falling over her stomach and mostly covering her most intimate parts.

Speed stayed in the bathroom, drying off and putting his clothes back on. Neither of them spoke and the silence was peaceful. Just as Trixie began to drift, she heard the door open. "Trixie, I-"

It often happened that Rex got cut off when he spoke those two words, and this time was no different.

With a shriek, Trixie leaped from the bed, trying desperately to cover herself. "Haven't you ever heard of _knocking_!"

He threw his hands in front of his face, to block his view as well as protect himself against anything she may decide to throw. "I'm sorry! I didn't know…I thought you'd be dressed by now!"

"Get out!" she was hiding on the opposite side of the bed now, peeking out at him over the top. Speed was in the bedroom now, looking like a cloud right before it becomes a hurricane.

"I'm sorry!" Rex shouted one more time, before racing out the door and shutting again.

"Jesus," Trixie said, her muscles relaxing as she crumbled to the floor. Speed was at her side. "I've decided we're not friends anymore, he and I."

Speed laughed, "you don't mean that. You're just mad."

Trixie's head fell into her hands and she grumbled into them, "I'm such a hypocrite."

Her husband shook his head, "you have every right to be angry."

That didn't mean she didn't have to be the bigger person. With a sigh, she stood and made her way into the bathroom, where she retrieved her clothes and slipped them on. Without bothering to brush her hair, she went out into the kitchen.

Rex leaped out the chair he was sitting in. "Trixie," he breathed, "I'm so sorry, I was-I wanted to-to tell you…I've decided it's best if we discontinue our friendship."

Trixie's hands clenched into fists, "oh really?" She tilted her head to the side, "who said you get to make all the decisions?" She grinned devilishly. "Because _I've_ decided we shouldn't be friends anymore."

Rex looked taken aback, but then he nodded. "I suppose that's settled then." He nodded toward the room he and Trixie had built for him. "Maybe that can be X's room, when he grows out the crib." He turned then and grabbed a suitcase Trixie hadn't noticed. Then, he was gone. And Trixie felt more empty than she ever had.


	20. Chapter 20: Moving On

**Chapter 20: Moving On**

The next several days were difficult. Trixie hardly left the bedroom and when she did it just made her wish she hadn't. Mom was taking it the worst, she wouldn't cook, she wouldn't go outside, she wouldn't even brush her hair. The fact that she even got out of bed was amazing to Trixie-she couldn't imagine how it felt to lose your son, then get him back only to lose him again. What was worse: thinking your son was dead or learning he was alive and not having him as part of the family? Pops was constantly working on a car. He was always checking the Mach 5, always asking Speed about how it was running. Speed was beginning to worry that his father would 'fix' the Mach until it stopped working. Spritle was upset because he didn't know what was happening to his family and it didn't help that Chim-Chim hadn't been pleasant since the depression had fallen over the Racer household. He hit and screeched and threw things whenever anyone tried to tell him something. In fact, only Speed seemed to not be entirely unhappy. He wasn't cheerful, by any means, but Trixie had a feeling that was only because his family was so sad, not because he really missed Rex. On the bright side, Trixie and Speed weren't fighting anymore. Speed was very nice about Trixie's sadness and Trixie didn't argue with Speed about his lack of it.

"Trixie?"

"Huh?" Trixie came back to reality, looking around the breakfast table. Everyone was looking at her expectantly, hung on her reaction. She swallowed, "I'm sorry, I was…elsewhere." She had been thinking of Rex, actually: his smiling face, enjoying being back with his family, basking in his friendship with Trixie. She immediately felt guilty for that when her eyes fell to Speed, who had obviously just asked her a question.

"I said do you want to go see _Speeding Agenda_? They're playing at the park tonight."

He wanted her to go out? No wonder everyone was looking at her like that. She didn't really want to go, she was content wallowing away in the bedroom, but it occurred to her that she needed to be strong for the family. If she went out with Speed, they would see that it was possible to go on, again. She wanted to do that for them, even if she had to fake it for now. She shrugged, "sure." It came out funny, not as nonchalant as she had hoped, but not as weak as she felt.

Speed frowned, but his eyes glittered hopefully. As she looked at him, Trixie wondered how long she'd been disconnected from him. She felt awful as she stared at him. What kind of wife was she? Speed had been so patient with her as she thought more about Rex than her own husband and she hadn't even been grateful. Speed began to fidget under her gaze, but he was saved by X crying. Trixie shot out of her seat without having touched her food. X was the one thing that Trixie had clung to, even though it didn't really have anything to do with Rex. The baby had been named after him, though, and she and Rex had spent important moments with X in her arms. She hurried to pull him to her, releasing a breast for X to feed from. This was one thing that sent a strange feeling through Trixie. When she watched X being nursed, she thought of Rex's mouth over her nipple. That, she was well aware, was not a good thing to think about. It didn't sicken her, but it didn't really excite her either. As she sat heavily in the rocking chair, she thought of the time Rex had almost raped her. That felt like a lifetime ago, like a different Rex, a different Trixie. She reminded herself that it **was** a different Rex. His social skills were much better now, especially with her.

Before long, Speed entered the room, his hands in his pocket and his head down. "Hey," he murmured, attempting a smile at her. It was the first time she had seen him really sad since Rex left. Maybe he'd been sad, but she'd been too focused on her own pain to notice his. She sighed and said "I'm so sorry," at the same time he said "you really miss him, don't you?" She ducked her head and looked at X, Rex's face flashing in her mind, making her feel bad all over again.

"Yes," she whispered, when he remained silent, "I'm sorry I haven't been around mentally," she frowned, "it's just that, I've never really had a friend before and I wanted you to have your brother back so badly, but I can see now that I can't have both, because you hate our friendship and-"

"I don't hate your friendship. I hate that he's in love with you."

"Oh Speed, I don't think he's-"

"I'm in love with you, Trixie. I know what it's like, how it feels. I can see my own feelings all over his face. He got so used to wearing that mask that he doesn't know how to hide what he's thinking." Trixie didn't know what to say to that. She knew, obviously, that Rex had feelings for her, but she hadn't realized that it went so far. "And I know that you're not in love with him…but sometimes I would catch you staring at him or touching his hand or…" he rubbed his eyes, puffing out his breath through his teeth. "I can't figure out if you have feelings for him and I can't figure out why you would-I mean, I don't know why you want to be his friend, he tried to-"

"Speed." She had to stop him there. He was saying all the things she didn't want to think about. She didn't want to have feelings for Rex, but the more she heard it aloud, the more she wondered if she was curious about something romantic with him. She was in love with Speed and she believed that she belonged with him, but it occurred to her that she had never dated anyone else. It pained her to even think it and she shoved the thought away, setting a full X back into his crib. She crossed the room, the fact that this was much like the night Rex had told her he was leaving not lost on her. She wrapped a hand around the back of Speed's neck and pulled him down to kiss him. The kiss was hard and desperate, but Speed wrapped his arms around her. She pulled away, letting her hand fall to her side. "I love _**you**_." He tried to smile. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I married you, we have a child together-can't you see that I don't want that with Rex." His name came out funny and they both frowned. It was the first time she had said 'Rex' since he'd left. She tried to tell herself that was the only reason it felt weird to say, but she felt a thrill go through her.

Speed let her go, looking into her eyes in a way he never had before. "Oh my god."

"What?" his tone terrified her-he wasn't angry.

"You…you do!" He shouted, choking on his own words.

"Speed, what are you talking about?"

"You have feelings for Rex!"

"Speed, don't be ridic-"

"No!" He shook his head hard, "I thought I could trust you at least," he turned away from her, "but I guess Rex fucked up my life, again!" He stormed from the room as X began to cry.

"Speed!" Trixie called after him, but he just kept walking until he slammed the door to their bedroom.

"What's going on in here?" Mom asked, coming in. Trixie was in tears and Mom pulled her into a hug, "oh dear, what is Speed yelling at you for now?"

"He thinks…" she hiccupped, "he thinks I have feelings for…for…" she couldn't say his name again.

Mom let go, looking shocked. "Do you?"

"Do I wha-WHAT!" She slumped against the wall, "even you think I do?"

"No! I mean, it's possible, I suppose. I don't want you to…but you can't help your heart. But you should be honest with Speed, and yourself."

"I don't…I don't think that I do. I think I'm just confused because no one has ever hurt me like this before. I miss him, but I don't…I don't with him what I have with Speed."

"Oh hunny, you're all mixed up. I'm so sorry."

"I have to-I have to make X stop crying," she tried to go around Mom, but she was cut off.

"Don't worry about X right now, I'll get him to stop. You need to go talk to Speed."

"Speed?" Trixie said softly, opening the door slowly. There was no response. "Speed, come on. I'm sorry that I miss him so much, but I don't-"

"Go away." He growled, pulling the covers up over his head.

"No. Stop being a child. I haven't done anything wrong."

"No? You love another man."

"Not like I love you."

"Just stop it, okay?" He threw the covers back and there was something animal in his expression. He was mad now. Good, Trixie knew how to handle mad Speed. "Just go find Rex and marry him instead."

"Speed, that's ridiculous."

"No, Trix, you're ridiculous." The nickname fell between them awkwardly and Trixie didn't know what to say right away. He was glaring at her with a ferocity she had only seen right before a race. "Stop lying to me. If you want to be with Rex just say so. Rip my heart out, please, don't try to remove it slowly."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Too late."

"But I haven't done anything!"

"Maybe that's the problem."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"You let Rex touch you, flirt with you, _**KISS**_ you. If you had fought him, maybe you wouldn't have fallen for him."

"Speed, I haven't fallen for him. Why is so easy for you to forget that I'm in love with you. We've been together for as long as we can remember. When will you figure out I'm not going anywhere?"

"I've already lost you, Trixie," he was shouting again. "I always thought you were too good for me and now I know it. I'm not mysterious enough for you, like Rex, I'm not exciting, 'cause you've known me your whole life."

"Speed…" tears clouded her vision and she couldn't even see his face anymore. She welcomed the tears; he was scary right now and maybe the tears would sober him up.

"No. Enough, Trixie. Just shut up, I'm done with you." He had stood now and headed for the door. "Pack your things and go back to your aunt's. Take X with you, he likes you better anyway. I'll leave you to pack."

"No, Speed, we can-"

He rounded on her, "I said," he grabbed her arm tightly, making her cry out, "shut **UP**," he threw her to the ground. She hit her head on the bedframe.

"Ow! God, Speed." She stood, dizzy. "How dare you! Fine! FUCK YOU! I'll leave and you can bet your ass you won't ever see X again!"

He left without saying another word, but Trixie saw the shame on his face. She knew, deep down, that he hadn't meant to hurt her, but she was too angry and shocked by his aggression to feel sorry for him. She was done pitying Speed Racer. She was done trying to make him happy all the time. If he wouldn't just let her love him then she supposed she had to leave. Maybe Speed would be better off without her.

She left her wedding ring on the dresser.

As she pulled out of the driveway ten minutes later, Trixie hoped that Speed would call to say sorry. She wouldn't forgive him for hurting her, but it would make her feel better to know that he still loved her. She thought about how she'd felt just that morning, how they had gotten along for the past week, and wondered how they had made it to this moment. She hadn't even caught sight of Speed since he had put her on the ground.

X cried in the backseat, but Trixie just drowned him out. She couldn't go to her aunt's, not yet; she couldn't talk about the fight, or the…she wouldn't think of that now. It stung too much.

She pulled into the park and got X, who had stopped crying, out of his seat, settling him on her lap as she sat in the grass, looking out at the length of grass and the trees bending in the breeze. She sighed and nuzzled X with her cheek.

"Hey there, I couldn't help but notice that you were alone."

Trixie looked around her to find a rather handsome man. He looked nothing like Speed, she noticed instantly. Where Speed had soft, boyish features, this man had a sharp face. Where Speed had glittering green eyes, this man had dangerous browns. Where Speed had short, silky brown hair, this man had shoulder-length blonde hair that looked as though it needed a wash.

"No, actually," she heard herself saying, "I've got X." She pushed him up a little with her knee, for effect. She tried to smile at him, but it felt funny on her face, so she looked away.

He laughed lightly and sat beside her, "I highly doubt the child is very good company as far chatting." Chatting. She didn't really feel like _chatting_ at the moment, but she didn't want to be rude, though she had no interest in whatever this man wanted to tell her. She went with saying nothing at all. "I can tell that you're sad." She didn't doubt it, she'd never felt so upset in her life.

"Good for you." Okay, maybe she would be rude after all. He just laughed, though.

"I'm hoping I can make you less sad."

"I'm sorry," she turned to look at him, "but what is it that you want?"

"Well," he looked out at the scenery in front of them, "I would like to ask a pretty girl to come get coffee with me. She can even bring her gorgeous child."

Trixie laughed aloud, which was rude, but she didn't care. "I'm married."

He glanced at her hand, "I see no ring."

She looked down as well, "oh. Well. That's…"

"Trixie?"

"Rex!" She had never felt more relieved in her whole life. She leaped to her feet, right after setting X into his baby seat. "Oh, thank God!" She hugged him tightly. "I thought I would never see you again. I've been so…"

"Sad."

"So this is your husband then?"

"What?" Trixie had already forgotten about the strange man. No one had ever really asked her out before, since everyone knew she was Speed's. He must have been new in town. "Oh. No…this is his brother." The man looked very confused, but he seemed to realize he would not win and left quietly. She immediately turned back to Rex, a huge grin on her face. She forgot all about her fight with Speed, about him throwing her to the ground, about all her worries…until Rex spoke again.

"What are you doing here and why was that guy…was he hitting on you?"

"Oh, Rex. It's been terrible since you left." She turned away from him and sat beside X again. "Speed is so…angry with me. He thinks…oh, I don't even want to say it. He thinks I have feelings for you. He told me to leave, so I did. All my stuff is in the car." She stared sadly at her car, the one Speed had bought her so long ago. She sighed heavily, weighted down with sadness.

"Trixie, that's terrible. Why would you leave?" He sat beside her.

"He…" she felt tears rush up and she wiped at them furiously, hating feeling weak. "He hurt me."

"What!"

"He grabbed me and he threw me down. I hit my head." She touched the back of her head, where there was a small bump.

"When?"

"A few minutes before I left. That's when I decided to leave."

"He must be very upset."

"He thinks that I love you!" She rounded on him, their faces frighteningly close together. Her breathing was uneven and X seemed to want to cry again. She put a hand on him and he settled slightly.

"Don't you?" his voice was breathy too and it made Trixie's heart beat faster. This was wrong.

She tried to shake her head or say no. "Of course I do, but-" his finger fell to her lips.

"Don't say another word. I know it hurts you." He stood again, holding out his hand to help her up. "You should come stay with me."

"Rex, that's an awful idea. If Speed found out, he'd never take me back."

"Do you want him to?"

"Of course! I'm his wife!"

"He hurt you!"

She shoved her face into her hand, "I know," she grumbled, "but he didn't mean to."

Rex scoffed and started to walk away. "You know where I live, if you change your mind. I never could sell the place."

"Rex," but he was already out of earshot.

Where else could she go? She couldn't imagine facing her aunt, telling her what Speed had done; she'd never really liked him, after all. She couldn't go home…to the Racer house. She was no longer welcome.

She quickly gathered her things and slung X's baby seat bar over her elbow. "Rex, wait!" She shouted, running as fast as she felt comfortable running with X. "I'll stay with you."


	21. Chapter 21: Changes

**Chapter 21: Changes**

After nine nights of both her and Rex sleeping on the couches in the living room-since Trixie refused to take his bed from him and he refused to sleep in it with a lady in the house-she decided to take the bed. Her side was killing her from sleeping on the couch and she could tell that Rex would never sleep in the bed as long as she stayed in the house. As she climbed into the bed, she could smell Rex in the covers. As she cuddled up underneath the wonderful warmth of the sheets and comforter, she couldn't help but breathe in the scent of Rex Racer.

"Night, Trixie," came Rex's voice from the doorway. She was glad for the darkness in the room, which hid her blush. This would be the first night they didn't sleep in the same room since she'd come here. They wouldn't be able to stay up and talk and say goodnight whenever one of them started to doze off. They had fought the awkwardness that tried to settle over them for the last ten days when they passed each other in the hallway or touched each other's fingers when they passed the salt across the table. Now, lying in a bed with Rex in the doorway, was an awkward Trixie couldn't overlook.

"Night," she whispered. She heard him shut the door and leave. She found that she couldn't sleep, so she stared at the moonlight pouring in through the window. She slid out of the bed and crossed to the window, feeling the light on her body, making her skin look milky and light blue. The strangeness of it, as she looked at her bare arms, actually made sense to her. She thought about the last few days, living in a house with just her and Rex. They were always alone. She had never had that with Speed. His family, whom she loved dearly, had always been around.

Speed…

She sighed. She missed her husband dearly, but it already felt like a lifetime ago that she had left the Racer house. Of course, Speed had been part of her whole life and she felt like she was missing a huge part of her, but being here in the quiet of Rex's house was nice. Trixie almost felt bad about being here, but Rex was so kind and he hadn't tried anything. He was giving her space while also being involved with her. He talked to her at the dinner table and asked how her day was going and changed X's diapers when Trixie thought she would go crazy if X cried one more time. Rex was so much like Speed that it pained her to be here, but at the same time it made her feel better, because this way she didn't feel like she'd lost Speed entirely. How would she ever be able to fix their marriage? Could she?

She opened the window, a cool wind blowing her bangs into her eyes, and she stepped out onto the roof. She sat down, her nightgown flowing around her in a pink circle. The wind picked up, but Trixie wasn't bothered by it. The chill reminded her that her life wasn't good, that she shouldn't feel happy living with Rex. Though she felt bad about her own contentedness, she couldn't stop enjoying living with Rex.

What was she going to do?

It had been two months. Two whole months with no calls from Speed or from any of the family. Rex had been kind enough to pay her phone bill, since her money had always come from her father, and then Speed. She swore to pay him back and went looking for a job. She couldn't spot for anyone, she decided. That was her job for Speed and it would feel like a betrayal. Of course, living with Rex sort of felt like one too. She found that she was feeling bad about a lot of things lately. Her aunt had called four times since she'd moved out of the Racer house and she been able to fake that her life was the same. If a hint of sadness seeped into her voice, her aunt assumed it was because Trixie was still missing Rex. Trixie hated lying to her aunt, but she couldn't imagine telling her the truth.

Trixie had hardly left the house except to go shopping for necessities like food and diapers and toiletries. Rex had never gone with her, but two months, three weeks, and a day since Speed had told her to leave, he offered to go with her.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. You give me all the money, I can't ask you to waste your time grocery shopping."

He smiled, "I don't think it's a waste of time. I want to help."

Trixie smiled too, "well, alright. But no complaining when we get there." He laughed and shook his head, promising not to complain.

Speed Racer had had enough of missing Trixie. He was the one who'd asked her to leave, the one who'd thrown her to the floor. But he was also the one who was in love with her, had never kissed another person, the one who stared at her wedding ring sitting on the dresser. He felt awful for asking her to leave, but he couldn't look at her face when it held love for his brother. He felt worse about hurting her, but when he thought back on it, it felt like someone else had done it.

He sighed, burrowing himself deeper into the covers so that he couldn't see the sunlight glinting off Trixie's diamond. He tried to picture asking her to marry him, their honeymoon, when X was born, but every time he could envision the memory it was Rex's face where his should have been. Just as his anger began to rise, there was a knock on the door.

"Speed?" Mom said softly, "Spritle and I are going shopping for some groceries, would you like to come with us?" There was a pause, "you could have your pick of what food ends up in the pantry for the next month."

Speed almost declined, but he realized that he needed to get out of the house and not think about Trixie for a while. He knew he wouldn't call her, both because he was terrified that she had decided Rex was the better choice and because he still hadn't forgiven himself for hurting her, so he doubted she had. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, "yeah, alright."

Mom seemed surprised, but she recovered quickly, and smiled, "great. We're leaving in five minutes." She left then and Speed pulled on some clean clothes and headed out into the kitchen. Before he knew it he was in the car on the way to the grocery store, wondering why it had sounded like a good idea. Then, his stomach grumbled and he realized that everything would look great.

The trip was relatively boring, Speed and Spritle kept pulling things off the shelf and putting them into the cart only to have Mom put them back. In the end, the brothers agreed on foods that were pre-approved by Mom. Finally, Speed was feeling normal-and then things started to go downhill.

Spritle had never been good at keeping his mouth shut and as they stood in line, he couldn't help himself. "Hey, isn't that Trixie?"

She was standing just across the way, at the end aisle, reaching for the top shelf trying to grab a box of mac and cheese. Speed made a move like he was going to go help her, but then Rex Racer came around the corner, saw Trixie struggling, and grinned, reaching up easily to grab three boxes for her. He handed them to her, still smiling, and said something as he passed them to her. She smiled too and said something as she threw them into the cart. Rex laughed; he had the same look on his face that he had when he'd flirted with Trixie while they worked on his bedroom. Trixie, in turn, looked…happy. It broke his heart to see them together. He wondered how long she'd been hanging out with him. Had she known where he was even when he'd left the Racer house once again? Suddenly, he felt empty and angry all at the same time. He forced himself to look again just as Trixie turned to push the cart down the rest of the aisle and Rex set his hand on her lower back. The thing was…she didn't push his hand away, pull away, or even say anything. She just kept walking. Suddenly, Speed couldn't stand there anymore.

"I'll meet you in the car," his mouth felt like it was full of cotton. He rushed out of the building, feeling like he might throw up.

Trixie was just out of reach of the mac and cheese and she was trying desperately to grab at least one box. Just when she was about to give up, Rex turned the corner and grinned at her. He reached up easily and grabbed three boxes for her. He handed them to her, still smiling, and said, "at your service, little lady."

She smiled too and said, "thank you, big man," as she threw them into the cart. Rex laughed, the sound made her happy, set her stomach flipping. Trixie turned to push the cart down the rest of the aisle and Rex set his hand on her lower back. She didn't push his hand away, pull away, or even say anything, she just kept walking, because she didn't want to fight with Rex too.

It didn't occur to her until later than she had felt comforted to have his hand there.


	22. Chapter 22: Surge

**Chapter 22: Surge**

**This chapter rated M**

Three months, one week, and four days.

Trixie finally called Speed Racer. He didn't answer his phone. Trixie didn't figure she would, but she was surprised to hear that he hadn't changed his voicemail. She could hear the youth in his voice; he still had the same voicemail from when they were nineteen!

"Hey, it's Speed Racer. I'm probably driving right now, or hanging out with Trix. Probably hanging with Trix," she heard her own giggle in the background, "so, maybe I'll call back later. If you're a sponsor, don't expect a return call." The line clicked. Trixie's throat caught and she managed to hit the end button. She dropped her phone to the couch, where it slid to the floor.

"Trixie?" Rex stepped out of the kitchen, where he had been making spaghetti. "Food's ready…is everything alright?"

"Yes, I-" she cleared her throat, "I'll be right there."

He smiled lamely at her and went back into the kitchen. She heard him clanging plates, setting the table. She reached down for her phone and dialed the home number.

"Hello?" Spritle.

"Hi, Spritle. It's-"

"Hi Trixie, Speed's not here right now."

"Oh? Where is he?"

"He went to Thunderhead." There was a pause that was not pleasant in the slightest, "he went to your aunt's earlier…she said she hadn't known you moved out." She could hear the sadness in Spritle's voice. She had never been close to the boy, who was twelve now, but she couldn't imagine this was easy on him. "You're with Rex, aren't you?"

"Oh, Spritle. I had nowhere else to go. I was so ashamed, I couldn't go live with my aunt again."

"Do you love him?"

The question struck her hard. "Well, yes. But, Speed and I-"

"Yeah. I thought you had something special too. Look, do yourself a favor: stay with Rex. Speed has been through enough because of you two. Don't come home." Home…

"Spritle?" came a voice in the background; it was Mom. "Are you talking to Trixie? That's no way to-" Click. With a defeated sigh, Trixie set her phone on the table. Maybe Spritle was right; maybe she had already broken her relationship with Speed. But how could something that had lasted for so long fall apart so easily? Everything had been so perfect before Rex had become her friend.

She could no longer deny that her heart beat faster when he touched her, that she didn't want the accidental brushing of fingers, that her breath caught when he smiled at her. But Rex was her older brother! Plus, he was thirty-six and she was only twenty-four! They had thirteen years between them. But as she walked into the kitchen to find spaghetti plated on the dining room table and candles lit as a centerpiece, Trixie realized that age would never mean anything between them.

The dinner was quiet; they barely spoke, and when they did it was something like "can you pass me another napkin?" It was on the occasion of this question that something happened between the two of them.

"Hey, Rex? Can you pass me another napkin?"

"Sure," he leaned forward a little so she could reach, "here." As she grabbed it, their fingers not only touched, but they settled between each other, in a sort of lace fashion. She looked up at his face and their eyes locked, the air between them surged and all of the sudden both of them were standing up. He walked quickly around the table, Trixie backed up, but she ran into the wall. His hand grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her with a fierceness that shocked her, but then her hands were in his hair and she was kissing him back just as hard. His body was shoving her against the wall now; he was taller and leaner than Speed, but Trixie didn't notice. He pushed her harder into the wall and lifted her off the ground a little. She took the hint and wrapped her legs around his waist. When she did, the pressure of his body released her and he headed down the hall, still kissing her. Her shirt was gone by the time they made it to his bedroom and she wasn't wearing a bra, since the shirt she'd had on had a built-in. She wasn't cold though, Rex's heated hands were all over her, as was his mouth as her body hit the mattress. As she looked down at him holding her breast while he pleasured her nipple, she thought of the times she had nursed X and thought of this moment. Her thoughts were scattered though and she eventually shut her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling. She couldn't believe that this was happening! She would never get Speed back after this, he would never forgive her. But Spritle had said she should move on…

Suddenly, Rex's mouth was over hers again, hungry. His shirt was gone, she noticed and his bare skin on hers felt pleasant. His hand reached down and unbuttoned her shorts…


	23. Chapter 23: The Biggest Mistake

**Chapter 23: The Biggest Mistake**

His hand reached down and unbuttoned her shorts as his fingers touched her stomach a flashback hit her.

_The hands that unzipped her dress were gentle, but the knuckles were calloused as they grazed her stomach. She shivered against them, uncomfortable. _

_ Still just as gentle as before, the man hooked a forefinger in her underwear elastic and tugged down a little, testing their leeway. She gasped, surprised. The man above her stopped for a second and chuckled. The laugh brought Trixie back to reality and she reached up, coming into contact with bare skin, a strong chest. A hand lashed out, grabbing both her wrists and pinning her arms above her head. His arms were just as strong, and when he bent down and caught her lips in his own, even his lips were strong, his breath hot and heavy. This was not Speed Racer, Trixie realized, and she shoved at his chest, hard, with all her might. He pulled away, but he growled too. Now she was scared, but she didn't thrash, she knew that wouldn't help. _

_ Instead she sucked in and held her breath. "Don't make a sound," the man whispered, threateningly, in her ear. She stiffened, glad she had already been holding her breath, or it would have caught, and then she screamed. She screamed bloody murder, a loud, shrill, high-pitched shriek. She screamed because this was not Speed Racer, but it was a Racer._

She gasped loudly and pulled away, sitting up a little. "Rex," she breathed, shaking her head. She got around him and off the bed, heading toward the door to go in search of her shirt.

"Trix?"

"Don't-" her voice came out too loud, but she spun on him, "**don't **call me that."

"I-I'm sorry," he sighed.

"I can't do this. I can't…you tried to _rape_ me," she huffed, leaving the room.

"Trixie! I'm not that person anymore. Look," he followed her out into the hall and she made the mistake of looking back at him. He hadn't bothered to put his shirt back on and despite her emotional feelings toward Rex at the moment, his muscles were still distracting. "I shouldn't have tried to…what just happened, I didn't mean for it…I just, I heard your phone call, I-"

"Rex, please. I thought…I thought I wanted this, but-" she couldn't find the words. She shook her head once again and continued down the hallway until she found her shirt. She pulled it over her head and went to get X. "I have to go. It was stupid of me to stay here. Ever since that race where I saw you up in the box my life has gotten progressively more difficult. I don't know why you took such an interest in me or how you managed to make me think I wanted to…" she motioned toward his bedroom, "but I have to go back to Speed, I have to tell him that I've been so stupid, that I'm sorry! Why did I ever become friends with you when you've done nothing but mess me up?"

Rex opened his mouth, but then he just shut it again and Trixie thought that he might cry. He didn't; he just turned and went back into his room and shut the door. She instantly felt terrible, but she knew that what she had said was the truth. He had ruined her life, whether he meant to or not; she was as much to blame as he was, she had let him ruin it, after all.

"Speed!" Trixie came flying into the kitchen through the back door. No one was in the room and she set X, still in his baby carrier, on the table and flung open the door of Speed's room.

"And this is my bed," he was saying. Trixie found him right away, he was beaming, but Trixie could tell he wasn't truly happy. He was a good actor; Trixie knew that she and Mom were the only ones who would be able to see the truth. But who was he…Trixie gasped. "Trixie?" Speed seemed confused, then angry. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What the hell is she doing in here?" Trixie growled, pointing at a skinny blonde who was standing irritatingly close to her husband. Was this what Speed had seen with her and Rex for so long? But this was different, surely this…girl was there on purpose. Could he have-no. Trixie refused to believe it.

"I thought you said she was out of the picture."

"She is," Speed made a point of looking at Trixie when he said it, which was actually a mistake on his part because Trixie could see the gleam in them that had arrived since she had.

She tried to push down her anger. "I'm not." She chose to ignore the girl, "I have realized that I'm entirely at fault here and I came to say I'm sorry. Speed," her voice softened, without her really meaning to. She shoved a hand through her hair and she felt her shoulders drop, "I've been very stupid. I should have pushed him away when I realized we were hurting you, but I was blind. I thought we could get through it and live happily ever after. I see now that was never a possibility. I told Rex that I should never have become friends with him, that he has done nothing but mess us up. I believe that, truly." She frowned, "please, Speed. Can we move on and leave Rex behind for real this time?"

There was silence for a moment, then the blonde opened her mouth. "Nice speech, bitch, but Speed's banging me now."

"Don't call her that," Speed said before Trixie could respond. That was probably best; Trixie was pretty fired up, now that she'd gotten her feelings out. "She may have not been the greatest lately, but she isn't a bitch." Trixie was actually surprised to hear that, "and we're not banging."

"But you said-"

"I lied." They stared at each other for a moment, shock on the girl's face and a seriousness that Trixie had become accustomed to on Speed's. It was obvious the other girl was not as used to it, because she cracked and turned away.

"Asshole," she shoved past Trixie, who followed her, for the sake of not allowing the girl alone with X in the kitchen. The family was in the kitchen at this point, listening in. When Trixie appeared they scattered. She wasn't ready to talk to them yet and since the girl had left she felt comfortable leaving X in the kitchen. No doubt Mom had missed him anyway. She returned to Speed's room and shut the door.

"Get out," he said as soon as the door clicked.

"No."

"Get. Out."

"No, Speed. We have to talk."

"Just because I kicked the girl out doesn't mean I want to talk to you or see you or do anything with you. Seeing you made me not want anything to do with Rachell, yes, but it also hurt me, so please, leave."

"Speed."

"LEAVE!"

"NO!" She stormed over to him and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him in for the hardest kiss they'd ever shared. He pushed her away and for the first time in the last couple hours, Trixie remembered that he'd hit her. She shook off the thought; she was willing to move on from that. It would be hypocritical of her to ask him to forget all about her and Rex and go on with their lives if she was still mad at him for something. "Speed," her voice was pleading now. "Didn't you hear what I said?"

"I heard."

"Don't you believe me?"

He rounded on her, grasping her arm roughly. She cried out a little, but he didn't let go. "Did you sleep with him?"

"What?"

He shook her a little, got right in her face, and spoke very slowly and deliberately, "did you fuck my brother?"

"No."

"Did you want to?"

"Speed-"

"I knew it!" He let her go, "get the fuck out, Trixie."

"Speed, I don't know how he made me believe…" she shut her eyes. "I said I was blind. As soon as he touched me I-"

"He touched you? You got that far!"

"Speed, listen to me."

"You were going to have sex with him!"

"You were going to have sex with some girl you just met!" She motioned toward the door.

"That's different!"

"How?"

"Because! I was using her to get over you." He was quiet for a second, "I thought you were never coming back. That I'd lost you to the guy you swore I wouldn't lose you to." Trixie could feel that he was calming down and she hoped that what they had to talk about would not get him too angry again.

"I'm sorry that you felt that way. I'm not going to say you shouldn't have, because I have been a terrible wife. Hunny, I'm so sorry. But I want to get through this."

"Why, Trix?" It felt so good to hear him call her that.

Trixie didn't play stupid, "because he was something different." She sat on the bed and put her head in her hands. "I've been with you so long and it was easy to talk to him without realizing what was happening because he was family. But then he didn't feel like family anymore, he felt exciting and…oh, Speed. Looking back now I wish I'd never become his friend. _You're _exciting and I love _you_, so I honestly don't know why Rex ever caught my interest."

"I believe you," Speed said, catching her hand as she brought it down to her lap. It felt strange, like he'd done it out of habit instead of because he wanted to, "but this is gunna take some time. I can't just forget about everything I saw, everything I felt when I knew you were feeling something you shouldn't…I kept imagining you and Rex together." He shut his eyes and pulled his hand away. "It started out as nightmares where you and I were having sex and just when it began to feel real instead of a dream, you'd shut your eyes and whisper 'Rex.'"

"Oh, Speed. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I hurt you like this. I never meant for any of this to happen."

He shook his head, "that doesn't matter now. It did happen."

"We can get through this."

"We can. Eventually."


	24. Chapter 24: Mending Fences

**Chapter 24: Mending Fences**

Rex had been trying to get ahold of Trixie for the past month, but she was careful not to let it get to her. She did miss him, in a way, but after her revelation it was easy not to fall into the sadness she had when he had left the Racer house. She and Speed were getting better, but there was still a lot of awkwardness between them, something that had never been there before, even growing up. He didn't touch her when he walked by, like he always had, or hold her hand under the table. In fact, he slept on the couch, while she slept on the bed. She had tried to talk him out of it, but he played dumb and told her that he would never allow her to sleep on a couch. Because of that fact, Trixie was surprised when late one night Speed came into the bedroom.

"What's wrong? Is X okay?" Trixie asked, sitting up.

Speed tried hard not to look at her in her nighty, but the sheets fell back and the moonlight shone over the curve of her breast in a flattering way and Speed couldn't help but look. "Everything is fine. I just couldn't sleep."

"So you came in here?"

"You were always so good at helping me sleep."

She scooted over on the bed and set one of her pillows down beside her. He shook his head, "not yet, Trix." Her nickname. He hadn't called her that since the day she'd returned from Rex's.

"Why?"

"Things aren't normal yet."

"When will they be normal if you keep fighting what feels right?"

Speed sighed. He knew that she was right, but he wasn't sure what was holding him back. He turned and left the room, ignoring Trixie calling his name.

Another week and a half went by before Speed returned to the bedroom in the middle of the night. This time Trixie said nothing and Speed slid into bed beside her and pulled the covers up to his chin. Trixie handed him a pillow and he took it without a word. He settled beside her and both were careful not to touch the other. Then, just as Trixie was about to fall into slumber, she felt Speed's arm slide over her stomach and he pulled them together until they were spooning. She still fit perfectly into his profile and it seemed to pain him that this was the case because then he let her go and slid out of the bed, ready to leave the bedroom. Trixie almost let him go, but then she sat up quickly, ignoring the swimming of her head.

"Speed, wait." This time he stopped, his hand on the door knob, but he remained silent. "I have an idea." Still, he remained silent, but he didn't move. She came to him, pulling his hand from the door and resting it on her naked breasts. She had slipped out of her nighty on the way to him. "Have sex with me, get it all out."

He hesitated, his warm hands on her skin made her close her eyes, before he released her breasts and left the room. Defeated, Trixie turned to go back to sleep, tears in her eyes.

It was hardly an ideal arrangement. Trixie might have given up on ever fixing it, if it weren't for the fact that the hole inside her since Speed's rejection was more ragged and large than the emptiness she'd felt when she'd stopped speaking to Rex the first time. Thoughts of Rex always made her feel guilty and she worried she'd get sick from all the pain and stress she felt over her marriage. X seemed to pick up on the strangeness in the house and he often cried for hours, nothing satisfying his sadness. Trixie understood, she cried nearly as much.

The rest of the family had tentatively welcomed her back. Mom always let her help with preparing meals, Pops always asked her how she was when he passed her in the hallway, and Spritle had even slowly begun acknowledging her and the table. It was more than she could have hoped for, though she was sorry for how it must make Speed feel (more guilt) and that she had pushed Rex and his family apart again (even more guilt).

How could this go on? The household was weary and tense and Trixie didn't know if it would be better or worse if she just returned to living with her aunt.

"Don't worry," Mom said one afternoon after lunch, when the two of them were cleaning the dishes and the boys were out working on the Mach 6. "He'll come around eventually."

Trixie wasn't sure what to say to that. _I know_ seemed snooty and _I hope so_ seemed liked she didn't believe he would. But if she didn't believe, then why hadn't she left yet? "The question is how long is eventually?" That word had been floating around a great deal lately. She hoped that would stop soon and _eventually_ would become _now_.

Speed finally returned to the room in the middle of night, four days after he'd rejected her invitation to sleep with her. She said nothing as she lay with her back to the door. He didn't slide into bed with her like he had last time. She wondered if he was hurting half as much as her, or if he was too angry to realize how hurt he was.

"Trixie," his tone wasn't exactly inviting, but it wasn't entirely hateful either. She turned to face him and sat up, still keeping her mouth shut. He leaned down until their faces were a few inches apart. She could smell him; it was so familiar that it hurt her, because she knew things were not the same. She was beginning to think they never would be. She tried not to breathe as he stared into her eyes, unblinking. She swallowed nervously when his gaze still held hers and pressed her lips together.

After an excruciating amount of time, he closed the distance between them and their lips touched for the first time since her return. It was a bittersweet moment; she could feel his pain, his desperation, his anger…all of it was right on the surface of those soft pink cushions, yet it still felt more right than anything else she'd ever experienced.

Surely this was a huge first step to getting their marriage back on track. But just as Trixie relaxed, he tore himself away and moved toward the door. Trixie was so tired of him leaving every time she thought they might be getting better. She stood and touched his shoulder. He shrugged her off immediately.

"Speed, please," her voice was raspy and extremely quiet. She found she was having trouble breathing.

"Please, what?"

"You're really going to finally kiss me and then just leave?"

"That was painful, you have to agree."

"Yes," she nodded slightly, "but it was wonderful, too."

He didn't agree, but he also didn't argue. He opened to door to leave, "wait! Speed, we can't keep living like this. I know you still love me, or you would have asked me to leave. I know you want to be with me, I know you want us to be better, and I know you wish you could sleep beside me. We **can** do all those things. You're the only person stopping them from happening." He stepped out and shut the door.

It felt as though Speed had shut the door with her heart between it and the doorframe. She felt tears well up in her eyes—tears that threatened to spill over and drown her, tears more painful than all the other tears she'd shed since returning together.


	25. Chapter 25: Angry Sex

**Chapter 25: Angry Sex**

As she took her first step back to the bed, the door swung open again, surprising her. She turned again, only to be attacked by a rough kiss and hands in her hair. He kicked the door shut, without taking his mouth off of hers. He shoved her onto the bed and brought his teeth to her neck, making her cry out. It hurt, but Trixie didn't care. He moved so fast Trixie couldn't keep up with what he was doing. She was without her nightgown before she could blink. His mouth found her nipple and at first his tongue and breath felt lovely, but then he bit so hard it brought tears to her eyes and she had to bite her lip until she tasted iron so that she wouldn't scream. She felt him smile against her skin before he pulled away and removed his pants, the only thing he wore to sleep. When he returned to her, his hand found her throat as he climbed on top of her. She gasped and he shushed her.

Suddenly, he was inside her and it hurt. She gasped again and his grip on her throat tightened, cutting her off. Their eyes met and Trixie could see the anger in them, which frightened her. She forgot about being scared, though, when all she could focus on was his thrusting into her as hard as he could again and again.

She was out of breath and hadn't even done anything when he let go of her throat and slumped against her, breathing quickly, his breath warming her ear. She tried to keep her breathing even, since Speed's chest was bumping into hers with each inhale. "Too fast," he murmured, still out of breath, pushing himself up to meet her gaze.  
"Feel better?"

"Not quite yet," he pulled away a little and then came closer again, sliding almost all the way out of her, just to come back in. Trixie closed her eyes to the feeling, ignoring the cramp in her abdomen from his abuse. He fell into a rhythm that got progressively faster until they were both breathing heavy again. When he came it was hot inside of her, but she welcomed it, because it meant she had Speed back. He kissed her one last time before getting off of her and pulling on his pants again. Before she could say anything, he ran a hand through his hair and left the room. Confused, Trixie cried herself to sleep, clutching her abdomen.

The next morning, Trixie really felt cheap. She took an exceptionally long shower, trying to wash away the shame she felt. She couldn't decide if she felt ashamed because she'd enjoyed Speed's roughness the night before or if it was because he had treated her like an object, to be left alone when he was done. It was probably both, which actually made her feel worse.

She finally talked herself out of the bedroom and made an appearance for brunch. Since it was Saturday, everyone (except for Mom, of course) had slept in a little. Mom smiled at her in a way that made Trixie think maybe she hadn't been as quiet as she'd thought, but the smile immediately vanished when she took in Trixie's defeated expression. Clearly, things had not gone as wonderfully as it had sounded last night.

Speed crept out of the nursery, where apparently he had slept on the floor, rubbing his eyes. Trixie felt her heart leap as she saw his groggy cuteness. He still looked the same way he had in high school when he awoke. It made her ache in more ways than one. She almost breathed a "hey, Speed," like old times. Then she remembered that she felt slighted by him and she dropped her gaze to the pancakes that Pops had just plopped on her plate.

Pancakes.

_Speed looked up at Trix, the fork, full of syrupy pancake chunks, hovering in front of his open maw, and he gave her a questioning look. Then he sat up a little and offered her the forkful of sticky, yet what Trixie knew was delicious, mess of pancakes. Trixie hadn't eaten breakfast, it was true, and the pancakes were so close to her face she was inhaling their scent and it made her stomach rumble. She shrugged and opened her mouth, why not? Speed laughed a little, more to himself than aloud, and put the fork right over her tongue. Trixie closed her mouth around it, imagining the taste of the pancakes a second before the taste was real. Cinnamon. Yum. She closed her eyes to the taste, the beautiful texture, and she felt the silverware slip back between her lips as Speed took back his lucky fork. _

_ She opened her eyes to find him watching her now, the blue of his eyes dancing with laughter. She could almost hear him chuckling, though his shoulders weren't moving up and down, so she knew he wasn't really. His mouth, however, was grinning, his side-grin, at her, three and a half of his teeth visible between the pink of this lips. She licked her own; ridding herself of the syrup the fork had left, as a trail, behind. Speed's grin widened and Trixie saw __**his**__ tongue right on the edge of his bottom lip. At the same time, they both seemed to remember where they were and brought their gazes down and then up from the side to stare at the middle of the table. _

_ Sparky got up from his chair, the scraping sound of the chair legs on the linoleum seemed extra loud all of the sudden._

Mom sat down in her chair pulling it in closer to the table as she settled, the scraping sound of the chair legs on the linoleum echoing Trixie's memory and giving her a chill.

That had been a lifetime ago. She'd had pancakes since then, of course, but it seemed the memories of Speed and all those electric moments were the only thing she had anymore. They haunted her at every turn. She swallowed and managed to eat a few bites, but the syrup seemed extra sticky and her mouth was so dry she could barely get them down, no matter how much milk she drank. She downed two and half glasses before giving up on eating.

While everyone else ate, Trixie sorted through her thoughts and the memories that had floated around her lately. The most recent one reminded her of Sparky, as well. He had stopped coming to meals since Trixie had returned, though Mom assured he'd stopped coming to all of them before that. Apparently, Speed had been very brooding and Sparky had felt uncomfortable enough to duck out after working on the cars. This only made Trixie feel marginally better, but at least it wasn't entirely her fault (by returning, that is). It was still her fault Speed had been in such an unappealing mood.

"Excuse me," she said, when she looked up at the family to find Speed staring at her, even as he ate. It scared her, more than reassured her, because he was looking at her as though she were something else he could eat, rather than something he could hold and cuddle. She stood quickly and dropped her plate in the sink. Her fork slipped and landed on the floor and she crouched quickly to pick it up. It left a string of syrup that she insisted on cleaning up, even though Mom stood and said she'd wipe it up. She hit her hip on the way to the paper towel and that was when Trixie realized she was in for a hard day.

Once she'd cleared it with Mom that she could leave X at the house, Trixie got into some workout clothes and headed for the park. She hadn't gone for a run in who knew how long, but she hoped it could release some negative energy within her and calm her a little.

She should have known better. Her and Speed had grown up in this park. She passed a rose bush and yet another memory hit her—this one even older than the last.

_Some little blonde girl in her class had been babbling on about how her daddy knew all about Speed's daddy to Trixie and some of the other girls. "He says the whole family's crazy."_

"_Speed's not crazy," Trixie said, frowning._

"_No," the girl agreed, "he's just dumb," she kept talking, but Trixie was distracted by Speed riding by in his little car. They had barely ever spoken, but Trixie wanted to be friends with him because he seemed to be just as fun-loving as her. She jerked back to blondie just as the girl said, "you wouldn't believe what the retard did-_

_How dare she say something horrible about Speed! Trixie lifted her little fist and punched the girl as hard as she could. Before the other girls could react more than gasp, Trixie saw Speed staring at her. Their eyes met for a moment and she felt a rush of happiness before he crash into some rosebushes._

"_Speed!" she raced toward him, leaping through the bushes to find him lying on his back, the car overturned. "Are you alright?"_

_He blinked up at her, "who are you?" It hurt a little that he didn't recognize her. He had seemed to a moment ago._

"_I'm Trixie," she said uncertainly. "I'm in your class."_

"_Oh yeah." A heartbeat. "Hey, you wanna see my car collection?"_

"_I'd love to."_

She sighed and decided to turn around and jog back home. She'd walked there, as a warm up. She jogged around the block once, before finally going back to the house.

Speed was watching television on the couch with Spritle and Chim-Chim, Pops was in the garage (where else?), and Mom was finishing up feeding X in the kitchen. Speed glanced back when the door opened and closed, but Trixie ignored him, not that it mattered. As soon as he realized who it was, he turned back to the television.

Trixie ran a hand through her hair and slipped out of her tennis shoes before putting them on the shoe rug and heading toward the bedroom to take a shower. This would be her second shower within two hours; oh well.

Mom tugged X out of his high chair, "you know, Trixie," she said before Trixie disappeared into the room off the kitchen, "it seems awfully nice out." Trixie nodded her agreement, "why don't Pops and I take the kids to the park for a while?" She looked pointedly at the back of Speed's head. Her message was clear, but Trixie wasn't entirely sure what she was supposed to do. Speed was the one being closed-off.

Still, Trixie appreciated Mom's attempts to give them some time alone. Spritle complained for a moment, until Mom promised ice cream on the way home. Then she managed to tug Pops away from the Mach 6 by the time Trixie had gotten into the bathroom and started the shower. She heard the shuffling in the kitchen and then the family's goodbye before the shutting of the back door.

She sighed as she stepped into the stream of warm water. Even though it was a smidge too hot, it was comforting. She shut her eyes and just stood under the water for a moment, feeling her sweat streaming down into the drain. Her muscles began to relax, just as a cold draft made her shiver and stiffen. Slowly, she turned to face the shower door.

Speed stepped into the shower with her and she tried not to act too happy to see him—ALL of him. He cracked a smile, so she assumed she hadn't succeeded. He stepped very close to her and she stepped back, her back meeting the shower wall. She didn't like the way he was looking at her. It was much the same as he had at the table earlier. She swallowed and shook her head, "no, Speed. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't getting you back, this is being used."

"Don't you think I deserve to just use you a little?"

She frowned, "absolutely not. I deserve your anger and your cold shoulder, but I don't deserve to be objectified."

He shrugged, "I thought you wanted to me to fuck you."

She tried to keep a level head, even though he was so close to her—so warm, so muscled, so familiar, so right, so _ready_. She could feel the tip of his penis just touching her inner thigh; she hated that it felt wonderful right now.

She put a hand on his chest and shut her eyes a moment longer than a normal blink. "Speed, this is not the same."

"We're not the same."

"We can be."

"I don't know if we can."

"Then please stop treating me like this and just let me leave."

He frowned, "I don't want you to leave."

"Do you think you'll ever forgive me, ever love me again?"

His frown deepened, even though he pressed himself even closer. Suddenly the extra heat of the water was suffocating. "I never stopped loving you. Can't you see that why this hurt me so much?"

She shut her eyes again. Of course she had known that, seen that. But this was not love, why he was here now, with her in the shower. This was not what Mom had wanted when she'd left them alone in the house. "I-"

He bent down and kissed her. It was one of those kisses you always see in the movies—the one where the guy wants the girl so bad he can't wait another moment to kiss her hungrily. At least, Trixie figured that's how it looked. It felt different: it was not loving and desperate, though she could feel his love deep within it. This kiss was devouring and lustful, it was full of aggression and payback. He was pushing her so hard into the wall her shoulder blades were aching. She tried to push him off her, but his mouth went to ear and he entered her. This did not hurt, because to her embarrassment, her body was ready for him. He let out a soft chuckle in her ear, a clear sign that he found it amusing that despite her protests, she had wanted him.

"Speed," she managed, though it came airily. He didn't stop pumping into her, smashing her tailbone painfully into the wall. "Speed, please. I don't want it to be like this." She did want it though. As he came in and out of her, she couldn't deny that some part of her was so glad to have him this close to her. But her pleas only seemed to fuel his aggression. She recalled that the last time he had released anger this way, she had also been extremely submissive.

She made her body relax and began to move with him, which made him falter, but only for a moment. She pressed her lips to his shoulder, trying to be loving even through the pain. His hipbone was digging cruelly into her side, but she ignored it as best she could. Trixie was determined to enjoy this as much as possible. Surely if Speed realized that he and Trixie were making love, instead of him attacking her, he would see that they should move past their troubles and be a happily married couple again. She moved her mouth to his, wrapping a hand around the back of his head and weaving her fingers in his hair.

He pulled back, becoming still. "What are you doing?"

"Enjoying myself."

"Why?"

"If you're not going to listen to me, I might as well take what I can get, right?" She made sure to keep the smile off her face, knowing if he thought she was amused he would be upset.

He frowned, but moved back toward her. She welcomed him, even shifting her leg to help him get a better angle. She could feel that he was unsure now, his anger having ebbed into confusion. It was probably a strange thing for a woman to ask you to stop, only to throw herself at you in the next instant, even if she was your wife.

When their lips met again, Speed kissed her more passionately than she could remember since Rex had come into her life. Guilt swept over her as Rex's name floated through her mind and she kissed him back just as fervently, wrapping her arms around him to keep him close to her. He was thrusting more gently now, though this was still not smooth and slow, caring sex. Trixie didn't mind, even though her abdomen was hurting a little. When he came, they both sighed at the same time and he actually looked her in the eye as the untangled themselves from each other.

The water, cooler now from being on so long, rained down over them, blurring Trixie's image of Speed as they stood staring at each for a long moment.

He opened his mouth, as though to speak, but then they both moved toward the other and met somewhere in the middle for round two.


	26. Chapter 26: Goodbye

**Chapter 26: Goodbye**

"Momma?"

"Yes dear?" Trixie turned to her son as she took a bite of her sandwich. The summer sun shone down on the Racer family, kissing their skin as they sat on a giant picnic blanket in the park.

The last three years had been good to them. X was growing every day; he could already read, write his name, and hold a conversation. He even had a little brother, Sparky, who was about to have a birthday. X loved Sparky as much as Trixie and Speed did, which was a hell of a lot. If there had been any estrangement left between the couple when Trixie had learned she was pregnant, it vanished with the news. They both immersed themselves in making sure the pregnancy was a safe one. They had bought their own home, down the street from Mom, Pops, and Spritle and had painted Sparky's room a deep blue, which ended up matching the child's eyes exactly.

Every Wednesday and Sunday, the Racers had lunch in the park. Of course, Trixie, Speed, and the boys had nearly every lunch and dinner at the old Racer household, but the picnic always seemed like a special event that all of them cherished.

"Can I feed Sparky?"

"Sure, Honey," she handed her older son a can of mashed peas.

X wrinkled his nose. "Does he really have to eat this stuff? Can't I just make him a sandwich and rip it up really small?"

Speed laughed. "Sorry, little man," he ruffled X's hair, "but Sparky doesn't have any teeth. He can't chew a sandwich yet."

X frowned. "When will he have teeth? Did I ever not have teeth?"

"We don't know. It's different for every baby." Trixie smiled and tugged the top of the baby carrier forward more, trying to protect Sparky from the beating sun.

"And yes," Speed added, "you were toothless for a while. All babies are."

X didn't seem to like that, but he popped the top of the baby food (with quite an effort, but he wouldn't accept help) and easily fell into the airplane food game with his baby brother. "Here you go, Sparksie," he cooed, "ucky food to make your teeth grow so you can have yummy food."

Sparky giggled and wrapped his tiny little lips around the spoon as best he could and gave his baby rendition of a chew. X grinned broadly, clearly proud that he had gotten his little brother to laugh _and_ eat.

The rest of the meal carried much the same fun and happiness. When the family split outside Mom and Pops' place, Spritle invited them to come to breakfast the next morning. Now sixteen, he helped his mother cook sometimes and apparently he was making huge sausage patties and pancakes when he awoke. Trixie pleasantly accepted and they said their goodbyes.

It was Tuesday and Speed was working on the Mach 8, Pops' newest model. Trixie decided to take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood. She was chatting happily with X, about anything his little heart desired, as they took turns pushing Sparky's stroller. She didn't even realize how far they'd walked until she looked up and saw Rex Racer packing large boxes into the back of a rented moving truck. She paused on the sidewalk in front of his driveway and he glanced up, then did a double take and frowned.

She told herself to turn and leave, but they both stood staring at each other instead.

"Momma?" X's voice made her look away, coming back to herself. "Who is that man and why are you guys staring at each other?"

She made herself smile. "That's Rex, an old friend. We don't really talk anymore 'cause we had a big fight when you were really little."

"Well, it looks like he's leaving forever," he looked over at Rex, who smiled tentatively at the child, "so maybe you should go make-up before that happens."

She had to laugh aloud at that, but she felt guilty when X frowned at the sound. "Sorry, Sweetie," she glanced at Rex, who was openly watching them now. "You're right," she touched his head, running her hand over one side, like mother's do. She turned the stroller and started up the driveway. "Good afternoon, Rex," she said, trying to make her voice casual.

He visibly swallowed, "so we're talking now?"

"Only for a moment," she said, a little more icily. She put her hand on X's back, "you remember X."

"You grew up a little, kid."

"Your name is like mine. Rex, X, they're pretty close."

The corner of Rex's mouth twitched, "yeah, I guess they are. We could be related."

Trixie frowned and shook her head almost imperceptibly. It would be extremely difficult to try to explain that Rex was his father's brother and why they didn't speak. Better that X think he was just a family friend once.

"Well, I'm going to let Mommy apologize now. I'll take Sparky over there," he pointed toward the front of the truck.

"You have another son?" Rex asked, as X pushed the stroller out of earshot of normal voices.

"He'll be a year in August."

"He's cute."

"He looks just like Speed." Their tones were neutral, but Rex's eyes blazed and Trixie could guess that hers did too. "So, you're moving?" she asked unnecessarily, motioning toward the truck.

"I figured if you and I weren't on speaking terms anymore, and I still wasn't part of my family, I might as well start over elsewhere."

"It took you three years to decide that?"

He frowned, obviously offended. "I had hopes for the first year and a half or so that you would call me. Then I just needed to figure out where to move to, and then get a job and a place there. I just found a house last week."

"Well, good for you. I hope you enjoy your new life."

"You're undoubtedly enjoying yours."

"Mine isn't new."

He didn't have anything to say to that. "Here," he said, after a painful silence. He tugged a sealed envelope out of his waistband, "I was going to put this in your mailbox on my way out of town. But here you are right in front of me."

She took it, but didn't open it. "Thanks, I guess."

"It's just some last things I wanted to say. Promise you'll read it, at least?"

"Of course I'll read it, Rex." She really did wish they could still be friends. She wished things were different and that he could stay in this house and come to meals at the Racer place, and be part of the family. But that couldn't be. "Well, bye."

"Goodbye, Trixie," he looked around her, "see ya, X!" he called to the boy.

"Bye! Have a fun trip," he bent down to his brother, "say goodbye, Sparky." He made a wave motion toward Rex and Sparky raised his open hand just a little and then touched his fingers to his palm.

It broke Trixie's heart and she moved quickly toward them, pushing the stroller back the direction they'd come. "Come on, X. Let's go home."

_Trixie,_

_ I sincerely hope that you and Speed have more than worked things out. I never meant to come between the two of you and I regret my actions and the actions I led you to take. I wish that things had been different and that we could really be family._

_ Some part of me will always love you, even though I know there must be someone else in the world for me, since you clearly belong to Speed. I love you enough that I can live with you and Speed being together without me, because I know it makes you happy._

_ I'm moving to Tokyo. Togokhan Motors has offered me a job. I'm sure you all won't miss me, but if you even need me, at least you'll know where I am. I'll always be here for you—you and Speed, and X, and the rest of the family (and any family to come). _

_Always,_

_Rex_

The letter seemed to echo her earlier thoughts. It also left her with the feeling that he'd had more to say, but didn't have the words for it.

As she placed it in one of the desk drawers in the office, Speed came into the room, having just gotten home from working on the car. "Hey, Beautiful," he greeted her.

She smiled and kissed him, letting his wrap his arms around her waist. "How was your day?"

"Any day I work with a car is a wonderful one. How was yours?"

"The boys and I went for a nice walk," she frowned, "I ran into Rex." His body immediately tensed, but he didn't release her. That made Trixie feel a little better, because she'd been dreading this moment. "He was moving to Tokyo. We kind of said our final goodbye. I don't think we'll ever see or hear from him ever again."

"Good," was all he said.

She sighed. "We really did just say goodbye. He wrote me a letter, but all it really said was that he was moving, just in case we needed him," she made sure to make it sound like she thought that was preposterous, "and that he's sorry."

"You threw it away, right?"

"Not yet, I didn't know if you'd want to see it or not."

"Of course I don't."

She turned out of his arms and retrieved the letter, throwing in the garbage can beside the desk. She caught his hand as she stepped around him and she led him into the bedroom. Mom had come by earlier and asked if she could have the boys for a sleepover. X had seemed extremely excited about it, so she'd agreed. Now, she was especially glad for the empty house, because that meant that she and Speed didn't need to worry about the kids tonight. They could just enjoy each other's company. Mom always seemed to take care of the kids exactly when Trixie and Speed needed to be alone.

For once, they didn't shut the door as they shucked their clothes. They didn't shut the door as they embraced. They didn't shut their door as their soft kisses became ravenous ones. They didn't shut the door as Speed pushed himself inside of his wife. And they didn't shut the door as Trixie moaned against his mouth and begged for more.

They both came three times, before they finally slumped against the mattress beside each other, breathing heavily.

"I love you," Speed whispered, pushing her hair out of his face and wrapping an arm gently around her.

"I love you," she echoed, turning to kiss him softly.

"Forever."

"Always."


End file.
